When Superman “died”, everybody knew it was a marketing strategy. When Captain America “died” last week in the pages of Captain America #25, it was mostly seen as a social commentary. The death of a fictional character made headlines all over the U.S. and hundreds of bloggers gave their piece. Time to give mine. It’s so frakkin’ brilliant! I haven’t read the issue yet, but just the fact that they killed Captain freakin’ America makes me sit up and notice. We all know he’s going to come back eventually, but for now, the general public who don’t read comics lost a symbol of truth, justice, and the American Dream. The comics community, however, lost a beloved son. Rest in peace, Cap. *sniff*
On that mournful note, it’s time for my weekly haul! SPOILERS, yo!
52 #44: The best smackdown in 52 so far happens in this issue. It’s Black Adam and Isis versus the Four Horsemen of Apokolips! It’s a cool fight. Black Adam is the last man standing, which isn’t really peachy since he lost his wife. What’s more interesting though is after months of being “tamed” by Isis, Black Adam goes back to his bad-ass ways, thanks to Isis’ request: “avenge us.” Too bad she had to die. She’s hot. Osiris, who is now a pile of leftovers, however, I don’t give a shit about.
After the titanic tussle, we get to see that emo lesbian again. Man, I don’t know where Montoya’s story is going, but it’s getting really boring really fast.
I give this 4 out of 5 crocodile tears.
Civil War: The Initiative #1: I knew this was going to be another upcoming books preview disguised as an “important” one-shot, but I still got it for two reasons: 1.) I’m a Marvel whore and 2.) Marc Silvestri.
Sasquatch recruits The Collective, the dude who killed Alpha Flight, to be a part of Canada’s new premier super team: Omega Flight! The Thunderbolts hunt down a lame superhero. Blech. The real jewel of this one-shot is the conversation between Spider-Woman and Ms. Marvel, who are both drawn splendidly by Silvestri.
And then comes a slew of previews of upcoming and currently available comics, including several pages of Captain America #25. A glorified previews book that rocks. But still just a previews book.
I give this 4 out of 5 shiny boobie shots of superheroines.
Fantastic Four #543: Happy 45th anniversary, Fantastic Four! Weee! Man, does the Thing look high on that cover or what?
The main story just features several people being “interviewed” about the FF, including Dr. Doom. I’m biased to his divine comic book presence, so I have to say that his appearance is the highlight of the book. “This interview is over. Doom has spoken.”
The two backup stories are also cool. One is by Stan “The freakin’ Man” Lee, who can still dish out a very entertaining and smart story.
Oh yeah, this is where the two new members are officially introduced: the Black Panther and Storm. I think I’m going to stick around to see how this new dynamic works.
I give this 4 out of 5 old school Spider-Man and Human Torch back-and-forths.
Justice League of America #6: Dammit. I got the Michael Turner cover again. I’m sick of that guy. Anyhoo, half a year into the series and we’ll finally see the team officially together! Next issue.
Brad Meltzer, bless his soul, can write emotions like it’s nobody’s business. But the pacing? Man he sucks at it. I hope he improves in his next arc because I’m getting tired of reading a sluggish issue every month.
The real reason I’m still reading the book is Ed Benes. He’s practically the next Jim Lee. Probably better. He can draw elegant heroes, sexy ladies, and undead supervillains ripping off the arms of a superheroes that are former robots.
I give this 4 out of 5 super close-up shots of Amazo’s face.
Marvel Zombies Vs. Army of Darkness #1: If there’s one thing I love more than zombies, it’s superheroes turned into zombies! Yay!
I’ve always enjoyed watching zombie movies, and I enjoyed the Army of Darkness movie. And being a Marvel whore, this was an easy buy.
I don’t care about the lame jokes. Seeing Zombie Hawkeye feast on a poor guy’s brains is all I need to see to commit myself into buying the rest of the mini-series. And I gotta get the original Marvel Zombies mini too. I mean, come on! Zombies! Hell yeah!
I give this 4 out of 5 zombified Marvels.
Mighty Avengers #1: I was surprised at how much fun I had with this first issue of the Ms. Marvel-led Avengers. Two reasons:
Brian Michael Bendis. Sure, every character is being written as witty and “talky”, but it’s fun to read, dammit! Also, I noticed he brought back the lost art of thought balloons, which surprisingly brought more fun and essence into each scene.
Frank Cho. I know the guy draws sexy women, but he also draws muscular dudes and giant monsters pretty well. I think he just made me crush on Ms. Marvel. Mmmm… Ms. Marvelllllll. Aggghhhccckkk.
I give this 5 out of 5 moley Mole Men.
Uncanny X-Men #484: When horny X-Men attack! How lame can your space empire be when a dozen mutants and space pirates kick your ass while they’re talking about their love lives? Pffft.
This issue is nice, but not as involving as last the last one. Leave it to me to find the villain’s story more interesting than the heroes’.
Two more issues before Ed Brubaker’s space opus comes to an end, and I’m so pumped up to see who comes home and stays in space to beat up “kick-ass” alien armadas.
I give this 3 out of 5 drunk Polarises.
This blog post is over! Doom has spoken!
Here are the rest of the posts in this series:
- Weekly Haul #1: X-Week
- Weekly Haul #2: After the War
- Weekly Haul #3: NYCC ’07
- Weekly Haul #4: Tabula Rasa
- Weekly Haul #6: Not So Weekly
- Weekly Haul #7: Movements
- Weekly Haul #8: Roasted
- Weekly Haul #9: War Is for Heroes
- Weekly Haul #10: Giant-Sized
- Weekly Haul #11: My Name Is Drinky
- Weekly Haul #12: Dirty Dozen