12 is a good solid number, isn’t it? 12 months. 12 apostles. 12 monkeys. It even has a nickname: Dozen. So with this good solid number, I’m ending this whole Weekly Haul series. Don’t rejoice just yet. This doesn’t mean that I’ll stop talking about comics. I’ll just stop enumerating and reviewing my weekly comic book purchases. I don’t know. It just became too much work, I guess. Especially when I’m starting to miss my self-imposed weekly deadlines. No point in doing a series of weekly posts and calling it “Weekly Haul” if it’s not weekly, right? Besides, I need to dedicate some more blogging time to other stuff like entertainment and technology news, videos of hot emo chicks kissing each other, and retard porn.
So yeah, this is the last post of my Weekly Haul series. Let’s get it over with, shall we? SPOILERS ahoy!
Justice League of America #9: Yay! Ed Benes is back! If Jim Lee’s art and Michael Turner’s art get it on, Ed Benes’ art will be their child. It’s just so pretty and clean and slick. It can also be savage and awe-inspiring like the two-page spread of gorillas riding dinosaurs.
The JLA/JSA crossover is starting to heat up with the villains (I’m guessing) being revealed. The Ultra Humanite, Despero, and some dude I don’t recognize apparently are pulling the strings. There’s one more member of the Legion to be uncovered, and I can’t wait to see who it is.
Awesome line: “So this is where you threaten me to stay away from the Capulets?” – Red Arrow showing he’s a fan of Shakespeare
Rating: 4 out of 5 gorillas riding dinosaurs as part of a race.
Mighty Avengers #3: After last issue’s borefest, this issue is surprisingly fun and exciting. And I give most of the credit to Frank Cho and his beautiful art. Okay, some of the credit goes to Brian Bendis and his crusade to bring back thought balloons.
The slobberknocker between Sentry and Lady Ultron (I just came up with the name since it sounds awesome) is okay, topped with the S.H.I.E.L.D. Hellicarrier doing a nosedive towards Manhattan. It’s also interesting to see that the Black Widow has S.H.I.E.L.D. leadership potential. Also, Frank Cho draws an insanely sexy Tigra. Mwreowrrr.
Awesome line: “And don’t throw it in the sun until we find out if Tony is really gone.” – Ms. Marvel telling Sentry to hold off on his hobby for a while
Rating: 4 out of 5 silver-armored Iron Men.
Uncanny X-Men #486: This is the final chapter of the year-long space epic The Rise and Fall of the Shi’ar Empire. It’s spectacular.
Professor X gets his powers back. Vulcan kills his own father, the leader of the Starjammers, Corsair. Hepzibah gets transported to Earth along with some of the X-Men, much to her chagrin. Havok, Marvel Girl, and Polaris get left behind in Shi’ar space. They join the remaining Starjammers to continue the battle for the empire. Sweet. All in all, the whole saga is a satisfying read. Kudos to Ed Brubaker for a great X-Men tale.
Awesome line: “He has to die. And X-Men don’t kill, so I guess we aren’t X-Men anymore.” – Havok showing everyone that he’s not a pussy
Rating: 5 out of 5 sexy pale cat-chicks.
X-Factor #19: The art is still not doing it for me. Where the hell is Pablo Raimondi?! Feh.
More B-list X-Men characters appear in this issue, and I have to be honest: I love it. I miss the old X-Men stories where two (or even more) groups of mutants hit each other in the face with fists of steel and interdimensional swords. Anyway, Peter David proves that whether it’s a quiet story or a mutant smackdown, he can deliver the goods.
Awesome line: “Thank god red goes with my outfit.” – Siryn being all witty while bleeding to death
Rating: 4 out of 5 Madrox duplicates under Blob’s butt.
And with that disgusting imagery, I declare the end of my Weekly Haul series. See you in the funny papers, kids!