The New Seven Deadly Sins: I’m Screwed
So, the Vatican has introduced seven new deadly sins. Do they have a committee that decides this kind of shit or something? The Committee of Sins, perhaps? Anyway, these new deadly sins (Genetic Modification, Experimenting on Humans, Polluting the Environment, Causing Social Injustice, Causing Poverty, Becoming Obscenely Wealthy, and Taking Drugs) are more hip than the original seven, and it doesn’t sit well with the old guys.
Pride: We were the first! Why do we need another seven?! We were the stars of a Brad Pitt movie, goddammit!
Wrath: DIE, N00BS! DIE!!!
Lust: Fakers. We can totally kick their pretentious asses. Mmmm… asses. Gangbang, anyone?
The Secret History of The Grand Order of FAIL
I would rather fail spectacularly than succeed minimally. – Alexander Luthor
Ten lost souls wandered aimlessly across the desolate soil of the blue and green ball floating in space called Earth. Each searching for the most awesome of life’s goals: EPIC WIN. They want to win in life. They want to conquer it. They want to rule their own lives with iron hands and golden dicks. But alas, these poor fellows only ended up with EPIC FAIL:
Accomplished Perfect Pedophile – He wanted to own all the young boys in his village to be his playmates, but all he got were the girls. He didn’t really have a problem with girls, but still. FAIL.
August General in Walrus Hide – He wanted to save the souls of those around him, deliver them from evil and shit, but he corrupted them instead. FAIL.
Celestial Wanker – He wanted to invent a machine that can solve all the problems inflicting his native land, but he just ended up inventing a square wheel. FAIL.
The Truth About Warcraft III: Defense of the Ancients
So I was just minding my own business stalking hot chicks on Friendster, right? After viewing hot bikini photos and taking mental pictures (to be “mentally Photoshopped” later), I checked out the bulletin board to see if I can find incriminating and juicy facts about my friends who answer stupid “surveys”. My mind wasn’t ready for what was about to be revealed to me: THE AWESOMEST TRUTH IN THE HISTORY OF ALL AWESOME TRUTHS!
Behold! The truth about Warcraft III: Defense of the Ancients (no modifications made to protect the integrity *LOL* of the text):
