The League of Extraordinary TV Gentlemen (and Ladies)
Mysterious Benefactor: Good morning, Mr. Bauer.
Jack Bauer: Who are you? Why am I here? Who are you working for? And why are you speaking to me through a speaker?
MB: Direct to the point. I like that. I work for no one. Who I am and why I’m not speaking to you in person aren’t really relevant questions at this time. Why you’re here, that’s the important question. See, a global threat has just arisen, and I need you to lead my team to end this threat.
JB: What threat? What team? And why me?
MB: Ever heard of this thing called a “declarative sentence”? Anyway, this global threat I speak of threatens life as we know it. He is pure and unadulterated evil. He is the most sinister being I have ever seen. If I know any better, I’d say he’s the Devil himself. If you would kindly direct your attention to the screen in front of you, let me show you the face of evil:
