Previously on Jack Bauer Lite: Jack Baddier totally freaked out when he heard animals making animal sounds. What an idiot.

Jack Baddier: What a nice morning. Perfect for driving, smoking, dicking around with the CD player and talking to someone on the phone, all at the same time. Isn’t that right, Chloe?

Chloe: Hang up now! I need you to be alive and in our super secret office early! No later than 9 AM.

JB: Why? What happens at 9 AM?

C: The whole ground floor will be blasted with the Airborne Cancer Nano-Virus we invented.

JB: WHAT THE–?! WHY?!

C: Super secret beta testing.

Read More

Before we get down to business, let’s all point at Ade and laugh because he answered a meme on his blog. Why is it funny? I don’t know. I just want to laugh at the guy.

Anyway, yeah. The asshole tagged me with the meme that asks “What are the five things you want to have in 2008?” Simple enough question, right? WRONG! After getting an iPod touch for Christmas and buying a 160GB external hard drive last week, I had a hard time coming up with five things I want to have in 2008. I thought long and hard, and here’s what I came up with:

Playing Wii on an iPod: NERDTASTIC!

A Wii. I’m still extremely in love with my PS2, but having another gaming console in the house wouldn’t hurt, right? Especially if it can help me burn some fat. God knows how much I’ve been slacking on keeping myself in shape. If I’m going to work out, might as well have fun doing it. Of course, going to the gym and seeing sweaty hot ladies working out is also an attractive option.

Read More

Mysterious Benefactor: Good morning, Mr. Bauer.

Jack Bauer: Who are you? Why am I here? Who are you working for? And why are you speaking to me through a speaker?

MB: Direct to the point. I like that. I work for no one. Who I am and why I’m not speaking to you in person aren’t really relevant questions at this time. Why you’re here, that’s the important question. See, a global threat has just arisen, and I need you to lead my team to end this threat.

JB: What threat? What team? And why me?

MB: Ever heard of this thing called a “declarative sentence”? Anyway, this global threat I speak of threatens life as we know it. He is pure and unadulterated evil. He is the most sinister being I have ever seen. If I know any better, I’d say he’s the Devil himself. If you would kindly direct your attention to the screen in front of you, let me show you the face of evil:

Read More

Before I became a comic geek, I was first a couch potato. OK, I still am, but not as zombie-like as before. I choose my shows now. And by “choose”, I mean “look for the Jack TV or HBO or AXN or Star Movies on”. Seriously, TV has become a mentor to me, teaching me things like sex, love, and bad grammar. Although, I think I can live without it now, with all the Interwebs shit and all. But there will always be TV shows that would always keep me coming back in front of the devilish tube.

#5: 24 – Initially, it was all about Elisha Cuthbert. I surf other channels when it’s not her scene. But eventually, I discovered the pure awesomeness of Jack freakin’ Bauer! I mean, seriously. I thought MacGvyer and The A-Team kicked ass, but Jack Bauer will eat them for breakfast! And then Sydney Bristow for lunch. Afternoon delight, yo.

#4: Smallville – This is the only TV show that I’m collecting on DVD. Well, so far. I currently have Seasons 1-3, and I can’t wait to get Seasons 4 and 5. It has everything. Hot chicks, special effects, humor, adventure, and dozens of easter eggs for comic book geeks. Never been a fan of the Superman mythos, but this show changed my mind. I’d take this over any of the Superman movies any day.

Read More