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You may think only teen girls can be mean girls, but you’re wrong. There are different kinds of mean girls. There are ultra hot mean girls, fat whore mean girls, boy mean girls, gay mean girls, old mean girls, Eastern European dictator mean girls, ancient Egyptian demon reborn in the modern day world as a dentist mean girls, etc. Anybody can be a mean girl. You can be a mean girl. Not sure if you are? Want to find out? Yes? Well, luckily for you, it’s Mean Girls Week. It’s the perfect time to discover if you’re a skanky whore bitch mean girl inside. Just take the following quiz to find out! Grool? Grool.

1. A friend of yours introduces you to someone from another country. A weird country. Like Africa or Japan or something. You…

1. invite him/her to join you for a cup of coffee, hoping to find out more about his/her culture and whatnot
2. exchange pleasantries and move on with your crazy hectic life
3. freeze and panic because you think all people from foreign lands carry diseases that can wipe out everyone on your side of the equator
4. tell the summbitch to eat your shoe and fuck off before you punch him/her in the throat

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It’s Holy Week, the last week of Lent. I’m not a practicing (whatever that means) Catholic, but I do respect the reflective atmosphere of this week here in the Philippines. On that note, I would like to let you all know that I shall observe blog silence here and in Face Rockery until Easter Sunday.

Anyway, in the spirit of this week’s reflective nature, I present to you some of my “reflective” blog entries:

“END OF THE YEAR” SUMMARIES

• The Oh Six
• Baddie 2007

ROMANCING THE CALL CENTER

• Now This Is Nostalgia
• Call Center Baddie
• The Specialist

BIRTHDAYS

• Quicksilver
• Party Boy
• Birthday Recap

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It just occurred to me that since I spend a lot of time on the road, I have a lot of road stories to tell. So many, in fact, that I can base a new recurring blog series on them. And since I just had another blog-worthy (well, at least for me) experience on the road, I’ll start that new blog series riiiiiiiight… NOW!

There are just days that can easily be categorized as sucky. You know, immediately after opening your eyes in the morning, you tell yourself “Fuck. It’s gonna be a sucky day. *groan*” All day at work, you’re like “Gahhhhd this is a sucky day.” and you can’t wait to go home. And when you’re already on your way home, you keep thinking “I’m going home I’m going home I’m going home GODDAMMIT THE DAY AIN’T OVER YET!” Today, ladies and gentlemen, is one of those days for me.

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When a man has too much time in his hands, he’s open to the idea of doing some of the most stupid things ever conceivable like, say, creating a Friendster account for his RAV 4. Yep. In April 2004, I had too much time in my hands and I created a Friendster account for Fucker, my black RAV 4. For 3 years, I added a select few of my friends to Fucker’s friends list. Some of them even took the initiative to add Fucker, and it’s all okay. They’re real friends, after all. But since a couple of weeks ago, Fucker started to get “friend requests” from, how should I describe them, unmistakable shoe-ins for Mike Villar’s Atrocities of Friendster? Yeah, that sounds about right. But I may be too harsh on these poor souls so I’ll ask you guys for guidance.

Exhibit A: Glendylle

Her profile says she’s 18, but I call shenanigans! She’s the one giving you the finger. I think. But just in case, mind your fucking manners, little missy!

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Ah, yes. Beer. It’s been around for ages. It has been used in international trade and labor. It has been utilized as a weapon against loneliness and depression. It has served as a love potion, turning people into creatures of beauty who live life with reckless abandon. It has been a loyal friend and a trusted confidant. A provider of courage and zeal. Liquid joy. A golden slice of heaven. For thousands of years, mankind has seen almost all of the effects of drinking beer. Almost.

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