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To whom it may concern (and I’m guessing there’s a lot of you),

I would like to apologize for my lack of prompt replies to your text messages. You probably think I’m a snob, which is a pretty girly thing to say, but I’m not. Well, I probably am, but not intentionally. You probably think that I don’t consider your messages important enough to warrant my precious time and attention. The lateness of my replies, if I ever do send replies, can be attributed to only one thing, and one thing alone: I HATE MOBILE PHONES.

OK, that’s too strong. Let me rephrase that: I’m not fond of always checking my mobile phone especially when I’m at home. Some of you may find this strange, maybe even retarded, but what are you gonna do? I hate checking my phone for new messages. I even hate hearing it ring or beep, that’s why I always keep it in “Meeting” mode. It’s actually more discreet than “Silent” mode in its default settings. Anyway, yeah. Don’t expect an immediate answer if you’re going to call me. Don’t think I’m blowing you off. I’m not. And don’t think I’m only doing it to you. I do it to everybody.

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Scientists say that 7% of the Internets is all about asshattery and dickery, while 3% is serious business. The remaining 90% is porn. I can attest to the porn number, and this blog more or less falls under the Asshattery & Dickery category. For the serious business side of the Internets, though, I have the perfect examples. I know this for I have firsthand accounts. Yes, ladies and gentlecreeps, all this bogus statistics bull is just an introduction to my pimping of the following:

Bum No More is a blog about tips and guides on employment, lifestyle, and other things that might interest new college graduates and young upwardly mobile professionals. It’s only been online for less than two months, but it already has a wealth of wisdom ready to be devoured by hungry young job seekers and corporate n00bs. Aside from this, job seekers can also subscribe to the Bum No More Weekly Newsletter that features entry level job openings every week.

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Hi. My name is Gino, code name: Jack Baddier. I’m here in my room, waiting for the Sandman to put me to sleep. By the way, I’m not talking about the mythical creature. Sandman is the codename of one of my fellow agents in a top secret government organization. He’s going to inject me with a serum that will induce sleep. After weeks of not getting enough rest, I can finally lay down on my bed and sleep fo… what the fuck?! Now why the hell is that dog barking?! Dammit. But before I find that out, I need to know first which of our half dozen stupid dogs is barking.

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It’s been a while since I talked about myself. Sure, I’ve talked about my wrath against Fucker’s stalkers, my fear of becoming Lord Vader, and my views on the tragedy of Cris Mendez, but I haven’t talked about the minute details of my currently monotonous life. Outside Twitter, that is. So what I’m going to do now is to bore you talk about what’s really going on with Baddie. But let me ask you first: Do you want it?!

Last time, I talked about Facebook’s Photos application that lets you upload an unlimited number of photos. Sure, it’s a lot of fun to share photos of you naked in the crapper while puffing smoke, but there’s one Facebook app that let’s you create compelling images by hand: the Graffiti app. The concept is simple and very appealing:

Draw on your friends’ profiles! It’s fun.

See? It’s simple, yet it strongly appeals to your inner vandal. It gets more charming after you install the application and you’re presented with a few samples of art done using the app. Here’s a sample by Javier Sedillo:

Awesome, right? Wait, it gets awesomer.

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