I don’t usually make a Christmas wish list, or any other kind of wish list for that matter, but for the sake of giving you guys an idea of what I want for Christmas this year (I better be in your Christmas list, you cheapskates!), I’m letting you know two things that I would really love to have by the end of 2007. Hey, stop whining. It’s either a wish list blog entry or The ANNOTATED Secret History of the Grand Order of FAIL.

The first thing I want for Christmas is an iPod.

No, I’m not a consumer sheep. I hated the buzz it got when it was first released, and I frown every time I hear about a new iPod iteration. Also, I get the urge to punch the nearest balls I could find whenever I see someone wearing white earphones. But, yeah. I think it’s time for me to succumb. Plus, I really want to carry around as many Porkchop Duo recordings as possible.

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OK let me go pervy on your asses for this post. After all, it’s a well known fact that I’m a comic book geek, and it’s scientifically proven that 99.9999% of all comic book geeks love hot women. And there’s also a scientific study that 99.9999% of hot women don’t like comic book geeks. It’s true. That golden unicorn with pixie dust coming out of its ass showed me a copy of the white papers.

#5: Jessica Alba – The only reason I watched Into the Blue is Ms. Alba. I had a huge crush on her ever since I saw her on the Flipper TV series. And although both film and comic critics choke at the mere mention of the Fantastic Four movie, and despite she was naked only when she was invisible, I still love her as the Invisible Woman.

#4: Elisha Cuthbert – I don’t usually drool over blondes, but Elisha is an exception. She’s got that bombshell quality that will make you not care if she’s all natural or if she went through a Chicago cosmetic surgery. In fact, I’m not even sure if she had things done. And I don’t give a shit. She’s hot!

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In my world, no form of entertainment is better than a good movie in surround sound and in widescreen. I actually prefer to watch movies at home, but it doesn’t hurt to see a big-budget summer blockbuster at the theater with “movie buddies”. I love a whole lot of movies, but there’s a select few that I highly regard as “awesome cinematic movie films”. Yeah, I know. Stupid term. I hate it when I’m just padding an introduction paragraph.

#5: Meet the Parents – I love De Niro comedies. Not that there’s a lot of them, but I love them nonetheless. And the best of the bunch is this one with Ben Stiller. I mean, come on. Any movie with a lead character named “Gaylord Focker” should be in everybody’s “funniest movies” list. I can watch this a gajabillion times, and I won’t get tired of the ridiculous yet scary scenes. I say “scary” since they play with my fear of meeting my future wife’s parents and relatives.

#4: The Girl Next Door – OK I admit I can be a sucker for good romantic comedies sometimes, but this one’s my favorite. The chick’s hot. The story brings nostalgic episodes. Nice soundtrack. And did I mention the chick’s hot? Yeah, I’m a huge Elisha Cuthbert fan. If I’ll be given a chance, I’ll bring her to one of those San Diego hotels and… okaaaay. I stop now.

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Before I became a comic geek, I was first a couch potato. OK, I still am, but not as zombie-like as before. I choose my shows now. And by “choose”, I mean “look for the Jack TV or HBO or AXN or Star Movies on”. Seriously, TV has become a mentor to me, teaching me things like sex, love, and bad grammar. Although, I think I can live without it now, with all the Interwebs shit and all. But there will always be TV shows that would always keep me coming back in front of the devilish tube.

#5: 24 – Initially, it was all about Elisha Cuthbert. I surf other channels when it’s not her scene. But eventually, I discovered the pure awesomeness of Jack freakin’ Bauer! I mean, seriously. I thought MacGvyer and The A-Team kicked ass, but Jack Bauer will eat them for breakfast! And then Sydney Bristow for lunch. Afternoon delight, yo.

#4: Smallville – This is the only TV show that I’m collecting on DVD. Well, so far. I currently have Seasons 1-3, and I can’t wait to get Seasons 4 and 5. It has everything. Hot chicks, special effects, humor, adventure, and dozens of easter eggs for comic book geeks. Never been a fan of the Superman mythos, but this show changed my mind. I’d take this over any of the Superman movies any day.

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