You know what you shouldn’t mix? Wine and the Dark Side.

From Yahoo! News:

HOLYHEAD, Wales – A man who dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence Tuesday.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates’ Court.

He also whacked Jones’ 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones — known as Master Mormi Hehol — bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.

I, Baddie, your shining Beacon of Truth, spoke with Lord Vader to get his side of the story:

Baddie: Lord Vader, what prompted you to attack those innocent Jedi freaks?

Darth Vader: My undying hatred for nerds! And inebriation.

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