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Human law is supreme. Nobody can escape it. Not even *drum roll* GOD! Behold! The power of the almighty state constitution of Nebraska!

From Wired:

Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers (D - Omaha) filed suit against God Friday, asking a court to order the Almighty and his followers to stop making terrorist threats.

The suit (.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along with his followers of all persuasions, “has made and continues to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons.” Those threats are credible given God’s history, Chambers’ complaint says.

Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”

As an aspiring mild-mannered reporter, I wanted to get the story from the defendant’s point-of-view. Unfortunately, God cannot be reached for comments (He never does listen to my prayers. Feh.), so I went to the next best source of divine information: Jesus Christ.

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“You cannot contribute anything to the ideal condition of mind and heart known as Brotherhood, however much you preach, posture, or agree, unless you live it.” ~ Faith Baldwin

We’re all probably aware by now of the tragic fate that befell Cris Mendez. The blogosphere has already presented all the emotions expected to come out of this senseless death. I pretty much share the same sentiments and I feel that everything that needs to be said has been said, and all that needs to be done has been… well, said. There’s one idea that rubs me the wrong way, though. And it comes from my favorite senator: the incomparable Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago.

From Inquirer.net:

“I am so furious. I am going to fight for a bill to abolish fraternities and sororities. As far as I’m concerned, from my experience in UP Diliman for four years in the College of Law, these fraternities do not aid the academic tradition of the University. They are nothing but elitist enclaves,” she told reporters.

I’ll have to firmly disagree with you on this one, Madame Senator.

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Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who watches the watchmen? Who guards the guardians? Who polices the police? Hello Kitty, that’s who!

From BBC News:

Police chiefs in the Thai capital, Bangkok, have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules - an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband.

The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it.

From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days.

Through the power of telepathy, I managed to conduct a profound interview with one of the first officers who were reprimanded using this dastardly tool of discipline:

Baddie: How does it feel to be shamed by this sinister armband? Do you realize that you look like a gay?

Thai Cop: I don’t really see why… wait. A gay? NOOOOOOOO!!!! (translated from Thailanese)

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From The Simpsons Movie trailer:

Homer: Did I save the day?
Bart: Actually, you’ve doomed us all!
Homer: D’OH!

“D’oh!” indeed, Mr. Simpson. There is recent news that as a promotion tool for your upcoming movie, your lackeys have painted an image of you right next to the Cerne Abbas giant. I believe you may have angered a 17th century chalk outline of a naked, sexually aroused, club-wielding giant which has been a symbol of spirituality. You may have drawn the wrath of a prehistoric fertility god upon you and your family! You may have doomed the whole Simpsons clan! All because you want to promote your movie. Or maybe you just want to play ring toss using your donut and the giant’s penis. I don’t know.

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It’s so freakin’ hot. Seriously. Cheryl Cosim said this morning that today, the temperature could reach 37 degrees Celsius. I suck at Science so I’ll just have to assume that that temperature is hot. Scorching even.

I always think hard before I decide to take a cigarette break during work. If I smoke, I’d have to endure the heat on my face, the sun on my bare head, and the stink of perspiring fellow smokers. I smoke anyway since I’m a slave to the nicotine. Feh.

This summer, there are only two options for me to keep myslef cool: the beach and white-hot ladies in bikinis, or an air-conditioned room, with a bunch of comics. If only life was that simple. *sigh*

What’s fun with the intense heat, though, is that when things get hot enough, you start to see things that aren’t really there. A mirage. It fucks with your brain. It changes your perspective. It gives you the hope of finding an oasis. Most of the time, you get disappointed. But sometimes, when you least expect it, you get surprised. There it is. Something real out of something that’s supposedly just bullshit.

Anyhoo, it’s been a slow week in the comics haul department so let’s just get on with it. SPOILERS ahoy!

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