The 7 Stages of Heartbreak
It’s safe to say that most of us have had our hearts broken. I’m not talking about your parents telling you that you’re a big mistake or your friend bailing out on you that one time when there was a raid in that whore house and you were too drunk to make a run for it. No, I’m talking about failed romantic relationships and brutal rejections. It’s a very confusing experience, this heartbreak. This is me trying to make sense of it all.
Well, since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. It’s down at the
end of Lonely Street, at Heartbreak Hotel. *stab, stab, cut, cut*
Stage 1: Denial
Someone just broke your heart and you’re like “THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.” You keep telling yourself that this is just a hiccup in your fairy tale romance and it will pass. It’s surreal at first, but the cold hard truth will eventually find its way into your head. It’s over. The initial shock kicks in. It’s over.
Stage 2: Anger
You’re now in a constant “WTF?!” mood. Still trying to figure out what’s happening, you’re like a rabid dog who just lost its chew toy. You’re going to bark at everything. You’re going to bite everything. Your sole purpose in life right now is to write angry emails, post rage-filled Facebook status messages and Twitter updates, draw devil horns on people’s photos and kick puppies IN THE FACE. Casualties: Your friends, your family, your dog and countless innocent Internet bystanders.
