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Breaking News: Hello Kitty Watches the Watchmen

hello kitty

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who watches the watchmen? Who guards the guardians? Who polices the police? Hello Kitty, that’s who!

From BBC News:

hello kittyPolice chiefs in the Thai capital, Bangkok, have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules – an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband.

The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it.

From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days.

Through the power of telepathy, I managed to conduct a profound interview with one of the first officers who were reprimanded using this dastardly tool of discipline:

Baddie: How does it feel to be shamed by this sinister armband? Do you realize that you look like a gay?

Thai Cop: I don’t really see why… wait. A gay? NOOOOOOOO!!!! (translated from Thailanese)

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10

Facebook Dickery: Graffiti App

Last time, I talked about Facebook’s Photos application that lets you upload an unlimited number of photos. Sure, it’s a lot of fun to share photos of you naked in the crapper while puffing smoke, but there’s one Facebook app that let’s you create compelling images by hand: the Graffiti app. The concept is simple and very appealing: Draw on your friends’ profiles! It’s fun.

See? It’s simple, yet it strongly appeals to your inner vandal. It gets more charming after you install the application and you’re presented with a few samples of art done using the app. Here’s a sample by Javier Sedillo:

sample graffiti art

Awesome, right? Wait, it gets awesomer.

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8

DVD Library #7: 300 Widescreen 2-Disc Special Edition

300

When everybody starts raving about a certain movie before I get the chance to see it, I strangely lose interest in seeing it in the theaters. Weird, but it’s the truth. Is it because I like watching movies at home more than I do in the theaters? Maybe. Is it because I hate sharing the same room with idiots who can’t stop talking about how excited they are about the movie because the Internet says it’s cool? Possibly. I don’t know. One thing’s for certain, though: everybody’s done with their “THIS. IS. SPARTAAA!!!” phase, but I’m just starting with mine. HA-OOH! HA-OOH!

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9

DVD Library #6: Ghost Rider 2-Disc Extended Cut

Ghost Rider

I purposely missed this movie when it opened in theaters. “Why?”, you ask. Well, there are several reasons. One, it’s directed by Mark Steven Johnson, the dude who gave us “Daredevil”. Yes, the Ben Affleck flick with an annoying Bullseye and a black Kingpin. Should I go on? Because I think that’s enough for you to understand where I’m going here. OK I’ll give you another: it’s too glossy. When I heard about the plans for a Ghost Rider movie, I hoped that it would be dark and gritty and R-18. The minute I found out that Johnson would be writing and directing it, I decided to pass on the theater release and just wait for the DVD, because I’m not watching this movie without watching some extras. And here we are.

ghost rider

The Story: I didn’t expect much in terms of the plot, but some of the lines dangerously come close to “Batman & Robin” sucktitude. I mean, come on! With great and “just OK” actors, they could have at least come up with more interesting dialogue and not just eye-roll-inducing puns. The only thing that attracted me was the mythology of the Ghost Rider and the concept of him being the Devil’s bounty hunter. The story within the story. After all, I am a comic book geek so I enjoy that kind of stuff. Other than that, it’s a formulaic Hollywood tale of redemption with bad puns and cookie cutter supporting characters.

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Know Your Comic Book Characters with Dr. Doom #2: Silver Surfer

Silver Surfer and Galactus vs. Fantastic Four

dr. doomGreetings, peons! It is I, Dr. Victor Von Doom, welcoming you again to this magnificent series where Doom lectures you simpletons on different comic book characters as only Doom can. Let it be known that all you shall read in this “blog post” is the truth, because although Doom is capable of anything, Doom does not lie!

For this second installment of Know Your Comic Book Characters with Dr. Doom, Doom shall introduce you to one of Galactus’ heralds, the “Sentinel of the Spaceways”, the noble and shiny Silver Surfer!

As a young astronomer in the peaceful planet Zenn-La, Norrin Radd dreamed of adventure and exploration. The young fool got his wish when Galactus, the “Devourer of Worlds”, threatened to turn Zenn-La into a cosmic sandwich. Radd bargained for the safety of his planet and his lover, Shalla-Bal, in return for his service as Galactus’ herald. Thus was born the Silver Surfer! Doom would have found a better way to stop Galactus’ threat if Doom were Radd. Bargaining is for lesser men, never for Doom!

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DVD Library #5: Beerfest

I rarely listen to other people’s opinions about movies. Well, I do listen, but I don’t let my judgment be affected by their critiques or praises. If they say the movie’s crap but I have the itch to watch it, I’ll watch it. If they say the movie’s the most awesome thing ever since Jesus turned water into wine, I’d pass on it if I doesn’t interest me. But like I said, there are those rare moments that I do take their advice, like when CJ and Sarah of Magic 89.9 did a DVD review of Beerfest. I always see the DVD in record bars and video stores, but I always pass and go for other movies, or none at all. Once I heard the review on-air, I decided to pick it up (after all, it is at bargain price), and I’m glad that I did.

beerfest

The Story: Nothing fancy. Two brothers get their asses whipped by Germans in a secret ancient beer games tournament, they return home to train their own beer drinking team, hoping to return the following year and have their revenge and protect their family’s honor, and eventually they did. The interesting and fun parts are the backstories of the main characters and all the asshattery. As long as there’s a nerd who masturbates frogs for a living, a male Indian prostitute dude, and a funny fat guy, I don’t care even if the story’s about an enchanted cardboard. Or something. Bottomline is, the movie is a collection of hilarious gags and witty banter. Also, nice sweaty boobies.

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DVD Library #4: The Incredibles

The Incredibles

When the first few CG animated films invaded theaters, it felt like the first few times I saw 2D animated movies. Magical and fantastic. I just had to see them on the big screen where it’s bigger than life. But once CG animated films became a-dime-a-dozen, I kind of got tired of seeing every new release. I mean, in its early years, 1 or 2 CG animated films a year made it special. Right now, I’m getting sick of all these talking animals and cheesy pop songs. But there are still a few exceptional CG animated films out there. One of them is The Incredibles.

the incredibles

The Story: I love the juxtaposition of the insanely fantastic and exciting lives of superheroes and the wickedly boring and mundane sub-urban family life. To paraphrase director Brad Bird, it’s an interesting contrast between the fantastic and the mundane. As a comic book geek, I specifically enjoyed the drama that develops around the superheroes’ secret identities. Most CG animated films are geared for the younger audience, but The Incredibles offers something to everyone with a world where superheroes exist, and superheroes who have “real world” problems. I heard this was originally planned to be a 2D animated movie. Frankly, if they went for the original plan, I would have enjoyed it just the same.

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The Secret

beer makes you happy!

Ah, yes. Beer. It’s been around for ages. It has been used in international trade and labor. It has been utilized as a weapon against loneliness and depression. It has served as a love potion, turning people into creatures of beauty who live life with reckless abandon. It has been a loyal friend and a trusted confidant. A provider of courage and zeal. Liquid joy. A golden slice of heaven. For thousands of years, mankind has seen almost all of the effects of drinking beer. Almost.

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5

X-23: Target X #6

X-23 - Target X

x-23: target x

I picked up the X-23: Target X mini-series for 2 reasons: 1.) the art looks top notch, and 2.) I’ve always wanted to know what the deal is with this Wolverine clone, Laura (a.k.a. X-23). I saw her first appearance on X-Men: Evolution and I immediately found her interesting. Yes, the character made her debut on the animated series, like Firestar did on Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the chance to read her comic book appearances until this mini-series came along. And as my introduction to X-23, it ain’t bad. It’s awesome.

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DVD Library #3: The Invincible Iron Man

The Invincible Iron Man

There are no words that can describe how happy I am about Viva Video bringing in Marvel Entertainment’s straight-to-DVD animated features like Ultimate Avengers, Ultimate Avengers 2, and this movie here featuring Ol’ Shellhead: The Invincible Iron Man.

the invincible iron man

The Story: This got some comic book traditionalists up in arms with their panties in a bunch. Uptight pricks. I, on the other hand, don’t mind the film creators doing some modifications and upgrades on the mythos because first, I wasn’t an Iron Man fan until Civil War came along, so I really don’t give a crap about Iron Man continuity. Second, why would you want an animated feature to be 100% faithful to the medium it’s based on? Stories and characters in comics, no matter how iconic, don’t always equal great entertainment when ported brick-by-brick to another medium. And third, the story of ancient magics meeting bleeding edge technologies, with a dash of daddy issues, works for me. The Ultimate Avengers movies gave me a bigger geekgasm, but this one gave me a more satisfying story.

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