My Top 20 Blackboard Quotes from The Simpsons

Gino Carteciano TV 6 Comments


19 years ago today, the second episode of The Simpsons aired. Well, the episode was actually aired on January 14th in the US. I’m in the Philippines, so whatev. It was a special episode due to the fact that introduced one of my two favorite parts of the show: Bart writing punishment verses on a blackboard during the opening sequence (the other one being the couch gag). In honor of this special day, I compiled a list of my favorite blackboard sayings. In no particular order:

  • I will not instigate revolution
  • I will not yell “Fire” in a crowded classroom
  • I will not encourage others to fly
  • My name is not Dr. Death
  • I will not yell “She’s Dead” during roll call
  • The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
  • I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
  • Adding “just kidding” doesn’t make it okay to insult the Principal
  • I do not have power of attorney over first graders
  • I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten
  • “Non-Flammable” is not a challenge
  • I cannot hire a substitute student
  • Vampire is not a career choice
  • Milhouse did not test cootie positive
  • This school does not need a “regime change”
  • I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be
  • A booger is not a bookmark
  • Frankincense is not a monster
  • There’s no such month as “Rocktober”
  • Jesus is not mad his birthday is on Christmas

Aside from introducing the blackboard gag, this episode, entitled Bart the Genius, also introduced Bart’s catchphrase, “Eat my shorts!” Thank you, Wikipedia!

Comments 6

  1. I loved that episode. And seeing that it aired in 1990, a question that has been on my mind has finally been answered (Who said "Eat my shorts" first?). Apparently it's John Bender (The Breakfast Club, 1985). :)

    See, reading this entry was definitely not a waste of time. :p

  2. I love,

    * Adding “just kidding†doesn’t make it okay to insult the Principal
    * I do not have power of attorney over first graders

    Yeah .. hahahaha cute!

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