I let the world know about my desires for Christmas this year, and lo and behold, the world has granted me half of my two-item Christmas wish list (OK, not the world. The parental units. Thanks, Mom and Dad!) mere days before Christmas. I have now in my possession a totally awesome and totally shiny iPod touch. Let me show you it! First, the packaging:
It’s a tight little box made of sturdy stuff. I have perfume boxes bigger than this baby, and I fell in love with it immediately. See, I’d like to think of myself as a minimalist. That’s what makes me helplessly attracted to Apple products. In design terms, anyway. So, yeah. It got me at “Hello”.
Since it’s packaged in a compact bundle of awesome, it’s no surprise that there’s no huge manual included. No installation disc for iTunes either since they update that stupid annoying software like every couple of months or something. I say “stupid annoying” because iTunes has become a huge pain in the ass after I upgraded it to version 7.5. It doesn’t open, but Windows Task Manager says it’s running. This is a huge bummer since the touch‘s life depends on it. Literally. Long story short, the only gripe I have for now about the touch is it being iTunes’ bitch. Moving on…
So there it is. My shiny new toy. And being the retard that I am, I think it’s time to give it a name. Ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to meet…
Get it? “Molesto”? It’s an iPod touch? What do you mean “repulsive”?! You’re talking to a guy who named his car “Fucker”, buddy! So zip it. Anyhoo, Molesto‘s a pretty neat gadget. The main draw for this baby is the interface. Multi-touch display, yo! It’s fascinating and fun to just navigate through it even though it doesn’t really have groundbreaking applications.
I have little to no photography skillz, but I hope you can see the sexy reflection of my sexy camera (named “Clicky”) and my sexy hand on the sexy and shiny back side of Molesto. One thing that I hate about shiny objects is once I get a hold of them, I leave my fingerprints all over the place. Within seconds after I took Molesto out of the box, I’ve tarnished him with my oily hands. That’s where the polishing cloth included in the package comes in handy. Here’s another shot of Molesto’s back side, this time at an angle:
A shiny metal back side and a glass front side. What a fancy, this Molesto guy. I’m expecting to gain more friends as I flaunt this mighty fine gadget every chance I get. Because really, I’ve got nothing going for me since I’m a flabby summbitch. Cartman from Southpark is practically a caricature of myself. That fat bastard.
And if you’re wondering why I didn’t talk about the features of this slim piece of awesome, I’d like to leave that to the experts. You don’t see “tech blog” anywhere on this page, do you? Right. So, yeah. I’ll listen to my collection of Porkchop Duo recordings now. BAI!