Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special is your new favorite movie about Valentine’s Day. It may even inspire you to make babies.
If you loved Michael Bolton and The Lonely Island’s 2011 joint Jack Sparrow, this Netflix original will float your love boat. But instead of getting one spectacular earworm, you’ll get an odd yet very satisfying 54-minute orgy of songs, comedy skits, unexpectedly cool celebrity guests, and Andy Samberg as Kenny G summoning Peak ’90s Bolton.
“What the fuck is going on?!”
If you really need to know the plot of Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special, here you go: Santa Claus’ elves made too many toys so he asked Undisputed King of Valetine’s Day Michael Bolton to inspire people to procreate on Valentine’s Day so there would be enough babies to receive toys come Christmas time. This noble cause inspires Bolton to do a variety show/telethon that asks people to pledge babies. Hey, you asked for it.
Michael Bolton and Friends
Obviously, Michael Bolton isn’t an actor, much less a comedian. But you surround him with actual comedians and Michael Sheen? You get comedy gold.
There are a lot of supporting celebrity highlights here including the aforementioned Sheen and Samberg, Fred Armisen, Will Forte, Bob Saget, and Brooke freakin’ Shields. Sarah Silverman and Randall Park are featured in my favorite non-Bolton musical performance.
Will it actually inspire people to make babies?
If good comedy turns you on, then yes. Michael Bolton’s Big, Sexy Valentine’s Day Special will induce intense sexy time. Probably not, but I don’t know what you’re into.
It’s perfect if you’re single and just want to spend Valentine’s Day in bed, watching Netflix, and desperately trying to fight off loneliness-based tears. Happy Valentine’s Day!