My current TV show obsession is Hell’s Kitchen US. After seeing the last part of Hell’s Kitchen Season 7, I was hooked. It’s not about the food because really, most of the time, the food that comes out of a challenge looks like crap. The meat of the show is the service segment where chefs and cooks try to please the personification of all kitchen nightmares, the ruthless ruler of Hell’s Kitchen, the Devil Himself, Gordon Ramsay.
*** Not actual Gordon Ramsay quote. But it could be.
I’m so obsessed with the show right now that I even downloaded the entire Hell’s Kitchen Season 6 — because I can’t find streams of full episodes online — while watching Hell’s Kitchen 8 on Star World. And I’m about to catch up on Hell’s Kitchen 9. I just love me some screaming fits and meltdowns in the kitchen that are heard and seen by customers. I love it when Chef Ramsay shouts “IMBECILE!” and “GET OUT!” and “IT’S RAW!” and “YOU DUMBO!” In each and every Hell’s Kitchen episode, I cherish the fact that I’m not in that kitchen. I can stand pressure and people screaming in my face but not when I’m working. I’d probably just storm out or punch someone smaller than me.
Finding out how to be on Hell’s Kitchen is more than just looking for a way to get on the show. It’s about preparing yourself for a lot of butthurt. If you’re thinking of joining Hell’s Kitchen and getting all up in Gordon Ramsay’s British face, I have a few tips for you.
1. Know how to cook under pressure. Knowing how to cook in your home kitchen is one thing, but knowing how to cook while Chef Ramsay is all over YOUR FACE is an entirely different matter.
2. Learn how to swallow your pride. People get thrown out of Hell’s Kitchen during service all the time. If you screw up constantly, that’s your fate.
3. Be prepared to hear inspiring words from Gordon Ramsay all night long. Inspiring words like “GET A GRIP!” and “YOU’RE KILLING ME!” and “FUCK OFF!”
4. Past Hell’s Kitchen winners went through a lot of emotional and verbal torture so throw your feelings out the window. Or don’t. It’s more entertaining to see people breaking down than to see people not giving a single fuck. Also, have the balls to fight back.
5. There have been injuries in the show so, you know, watch your hands. In Hell’s Kitchen 6, 3 people were injured. Not including one fat contestant who almost had a heart attack.
They don’t call it “Hell’s Kitchen” for nothing. I’m not the type of person who’s courageous enough to enter Chef Ramsay’s kitchen boot camp but I’m definitely the type of person who enjoys watching other people get verbally molested in front of a crowd.