When everybody starts raving about a certain movie before I get the chance to see it, I strangely lose interest in seeing it in the theaters. Weird, but it’s the truth. Is it because I like watching movies at home more than I do in the theaters? Maybe. Is it because I hate sharing the same room with idiots who can’t stop talking about how excited they are about the movie because the Internet says it’s cool? Possibly. I don’t know. One thing’s for certain, though: everybody’s done with their “THIS. IS. SPARTAAA!!!” phase, but I’m just starting with mine. HA-OOH! HA-OOH!
The Story: I’ve always been a fan of ancient war stories and Greek mythology, so I would definitely dig this even if it weren’t based on Frank Miller‘s graphic novel. You’re probably saying “But Baddie, this isn’t mythology. This is based on a graphic novel inspired by the movie The 300 Spartans which was based on historical events!” True, but with all the creative liberties applied by director Zack Snyder and the creators openly admitting that this is not a historically sound interpretation of the Battle of Thermopylae, I’d say this is more myth than a really cool documentary. I’m definitely cool with that.
The story is simple. Xerxes, the Persian god king, invades Greece with his ridiculously large army of freaks, beasts, and demonic “immortals”. Leonidas, the macho king of Sparta, disregards the wishes of the fugly Ephors and marches on with his 300 “personal bodyguards” to kick some Persian ass. Magnificent bloodshed and awesome one-liners follow. I love it.
The Eye Candy: For comic book nerds like me, this being based on a Frank Miller graphic novel is reason enough to see it. For the normal non-nerd people, I’d say the hook is the mind-blowing digital effects. When I was listening to the commentary by Snyder where he points out which shots were digitally enhanced and which ones were done old-school, I got blown away. In most CG-heavy movies, you can easily figure out the CG stuff. With 300, you’ll find it hard to point out what’s fake and what’s real. Either that, or Snyder is bullshitting all of us. Also, the amount of boobage is fantastic.
The Actors: I don’t think I can look at Gerard Butler the same way again. I think if he stars as a gay dude in a chick flick with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, I’d still see him as a bearded brute king shouting all of his awesome one-liners. He plays the role really well, and ditto for the rest of the cast. Well, David Wenham kinda bothered me with the closing lines of the film. The way he delivered it, I felt that it was cheesy. Other than that, I’m very satisfied with all the main and supporting characters, and even the extras. They totally sold every stab and beheading quite nicely.
The DVD Extras: This is one of the few DVDs in my collection that totally satisfied me with all the extras. From the historical background of Spartan culture to the musings of Frank GODDAMN Miller himself, it’s all good. Hell, this is the first time I was excited to hear the commentary track. I now have a man-crush on Zack Snyder. God bless him and his nerdy heart.
I got the DVD on a Thursday. Friday, I watched the movie and all the extras. Saturday, I watched the movie again. Sunday, I watched the movie again with commentary by Zack Snyder. Yep. I may be 4 months late with my “TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!!!” phase, but believe me, this won’t be over any time soon.