If you're new here, you may want to add some dickery to your feed reader by subscribing to my RSS feed. High five!

I’ve been swimming regularly in our pool for about half a year now and I’m getting a lot of benefits from it. First, it’s an awesome way to beat the heat. It’s also a nice way to work out, especially since I’m fat and too lazy to go to the gym or run or bike or do sit-ups. Helps my lung strength too (I really should stop smoking). The best benefit I get from swimming in our pool is I get to be alone. I get the chance to meditate about my life. You know, important stuff. And now, I’d like to share these things to you in a piece I’d like to call…

First of which is “FUNNY CATS”

» Read the rest of the entry →

Usually, when something baffles us, it’s only a matter of time before we figure it out. The more we learn from these perplexing things, the more we understand their nature. We eventually uncover the truth behind them. But sometimes, the more we learn about these things, the more they frustrate and bewilder us. That’s exactly what women are to me. Baffling. Perplexing. Frustrating. Bewildering.

» Read the rest of the entry →

One thing you should know about me, aside from my pure hatred for dogs, is that I love rainy days. I love the sound that the rain makes on our roof. I love the gloomy skies. I just love everything about it. Well, not everything. Here’s a list of rainy day things I’m not too crazy about:

1. Wet roads. It being slippery doesn’t really bother me since I’m confident enough with my ill driving skillz. I just don’t like deep puddles doing a number on my wheels. Also, mud on my car is just not sexy.

2. Getting soaked. Most of the time, I like getting a little wet by the rain. I don’t mind water meeting my jacket, but holy Baby Jesus, it pisses me off when my pants get soaked! And let’s not get into the topic of wet socks.

» Read the rest of the entry →

To whom it may concern (and I’m guessing there’s a lot of you),

I would like to apologize for my lack of prompt replies to your text messages. You probably think I’m a snob, which is a pretty girly thing to say, but I’m not. Well, I probably am, but not intentionally. You probably think that I don’t consider your messages important enough to warrant my precious time and attention. The lateness of my replies, if I ever do send replies, can be attributed to only one thing, and one thing alone: I HATE MOBILE PHONES.

OK, that’s too strong. Let me rephrase that: I’m not fond of always checking my mobile phone especially when I’m at home. Some of you may find this strange, maybe even retarded, but what are you gonna do? I hate checking my phone for new messages. I even hate hearing it ring or beep, that’s why I always keep it in “Meeting” mode. It’s actually more discreet than “Silent” mode in its default settings. Anyway, yeah. Don’t expect an immediate answer if you’re going to call me. Don’t think I’m blowing you off. I’m not. And don’t think I’m only doing it to you. I do it to everybody.

» Read the rest of the entry →

Here we are again. I’m about to write something silly and you’re going to read it. Remember Scorched Earth? I’m sure you don’t. Well, you’d probably be familiar with that post and what it’s all about after reading this one because I’m pulling another Scorched Earth.

See, the past few days, I felt like a pail of ice cold water was thrown AT MY FACE. Certain words were said. Certain possibilities were opened. I was suddenly asking myself what the hell am I doing? What the fuck am I going to do next? Am I really willing to do the things I’m not used to doing? It’s like I was lounging around, watching Pinoy Big Brother, minding my own business, when suddenly, God tore off the roof of our house and asked me in his godly voice, “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE, BOY?!”

In a matter of days, I found the will to organize my shit and figure out how to fix broken things in my life. I started to figure out how to move forward into directions I never even knew existed. The last few days were my Road to Damascus. A string of moments of clarity didn’t let me sleep right. It was a renaissance of the soul! And then, a road block… OF CHAOS! Baddie was is brokenated. All because of a small taste of a divine cookie.

» Read the rest of the entry →