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I casually observe my blog stats via ShortStats every now and then, and for the last couple of months, I noticed something interesting. Here are my top 10 search keywords:

1. computers internet blog
2. bigbaddie.com
3. retard porn
4. ipod touch
5. baddieverse
6. beerfest black girl
7. slumbook
8. facebook purity test
9. beerfest sex scene
10. hot black chick in beerfest

Notice anything peculiar? Well, except for “retard porn” which is just… creepy. Three of these keywords pertain to Beerfest, and 2 out of these 3 are about an African-American female in the movie. Looking at the rest of my statistics, I see a lot of different variants of these keywords like “beerfest black chick topless”, “hot black girl in beerfest”, “black chick from beerfest”, and so on. Looks like some IMDB-challenged people are really interested in this lady. SEXUALLY!

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I didn’t go to the recently concluded San Diego Comic-Con, but thanks to the magic of the Internets, I got all the news and ridiculous photos of ridiculous people in ridiculous costumes from the event that I needed. And then some. It took me a couple of days to rummage through my bookmarks and feeds, but I eventually singled out 10 news items that made my balls sweaty with geeky anticipation. Here be the list:

1. Agents of Atlas Ongoing Series! My mancrush on Jeff Parker began when I was awesomed deeply by the Agents of Atlas mini-series back in 2006. My love for AoA has been well documented (Love & War, 2006 Awesome List, Lantern of Doom!, Agents of Atlas, Top 5 Lists #9 of 10: Graphic Fiction, and Giant-Size Rockery), so it goes without saying that I am extremely happy to learn that I’ll be getting my dose of AoA monthly starting early 2009.

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A Japanese school girl with a machine gun arm (later replaced with a chainsaw arm) makes her last stand against the remaining members of a ninja Yakuza family that killed her brother and her friends. All is going well until the matriarch of the family unleashes her ultimate weapon, the Drill Bra, which she uses to grind the school girl’s ample breasts.

It is rare to see such an awesome combination of brutal, bloody action and thinly veiled lesbian suggestiveness. Clearly, this is a wellspring of greatness. One awesome scene in a tapestry of awesomeness in the form of a movie made of WIN.

*** This great moment in film history is from the blood-drenched movie, The Machine Girl.

Seeking vengeance (which is, really, the best reason ever to do anything) for the death of her mother, a sorta hot high school girl, with a vagina that has teeth that looks like a combination of eel and shark teeth, has sex with her stepbrother who is a total asshole. Her vagina bites off said asshole’s penis and it falls to the floor. The asshole’s dog then eats the bloody male sex organ. Hilarity ensues.

With intense penis-chomping and penis-eating action, this scene earns its spot in film history greatness.

*** This great moment in film history is from the movie with bite, Teeth.

The #1 zombie stripper attraction of an underground strip club uses her zombie vagina to shoot ping pong and billiard balls at her rival zombie stripper who uses a dance pole to hit said projectiles towards the superstar zombie stripper’s zombie face. It’s a back and forth battle of zombie wits and zombie ingenuity. (boobies blurred for you prudes out there)

Nudity, zombies, Jenna Jameson, balls, and gore. You just can’t argue with the resulting greatness.

*** This great moment in film history is from the elegantly named movie, Zombie Strippers.