One Sentence Spoilers for Ten Movies
I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately and save for a few mentions on my Tumblr blog, I haven’t really talked about them. I’m thinking of writing Stubby Movie Reviews on the 10 films I recently saw but that sounds like a lot of work. So I’m just going to spoil each of them for you with a sentence and a random screen cap. You know, just because.
The Book of Eli
Mah Boy Denzel, who turns out to be blind, and Mila Kunis protect a copy of the Bible from Gary Oldman and his goons in a post-apocalyptic world, but they fail, which doesn’t mean a thing because Mah Boy Denzel has the entire book memorized and he eventually reaches Alcatraz, which is now a giant library, where the Bible is republished before Mah Boy Denzel dies.
Stubby Movie Reviews: Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs, Couples Retreat and Sorority Row
Cloudy with A Chance of Meatballs
As I expected, it doesn’t have the heart of Pixar movies, but hot damn it sure as hell is funny. I found myself constantly laughing out loud. I’d like to think that I have a sophisticated sense of humor (well, sometimes) and this movie definitely tickled my sometimes sophisticated funny bones. It’s a fresh gift from the animation gods who have the habit of throwing cutesy talking animals our way every now and then.
Couples Retreat
I liked it but it’s not as funny as I hoped. It needs more Ken Jeong and less sappy Vince Vaughn speeches. The ensemble cast didn’t quite mesh in an elegant soup of hilarity and cheese, which is what I expected. Nevertheless, I give this a thumbs up. And by “this” I mean Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman in bikinis.
Sorority Row
If you’re a fan of slasher movies and hot sorority chicks, you will love Sorority Row. I know I did. Sure, it’s just I Know What You Did Last Summer with sorority girls and frat boys, but who cares? It follows the rules of slasher flicks faithfully. In fact, it doesn’t really offer anything new, but again, who cares? I love slasher movies because they’re stupid and bloody and sexy. This movie, my friends, delivers on all three.
The Late Shift 2: Electric Boogaloo
It’s the end of an era. An era that only lasted 7 months and 3 weeks. The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien is no more, thanks to NBC bringing back Jay Leno to his old time slot, forcing Conan to quit and leave. This makes me sad. And angry. But mostly sad.
I’ve been a fan of American late night TV ever since I saw the 1996 film The Late Shift. Based on a book by Bill Carter, the movie follows the EPIC struggle between Jay Leno and David Letterman to inherit the legendary Tonight Show from Johnny Carson. I was just fascinated with the politics and the drama and the beauty of shattered dreams. That extremely controversial moment in TV history was truly special. And you know what they say about history, right? It frickin’ repeats itself.
Stubby Movie Review: The Boat That Rocked
Plain and simple, I loved it. It’s one of those movies that make you wish you lived during the 60′s. It’s loaded with electric performances, eargasms and hilarious bits. I got a little choked up towards the end, though. I had a mix of the happies and the saddies (?!) as the movie ended. It just oozed with love for Rock and Roll, man. I don’t have a particular favorite when it comes to music, but goddammit if I had to pick, I’d pick the hell out of old school Rock and Roll.
10 Things I Learned from Where the Wild Things Are
I just saw Spike Jonze’s movie adaptation of Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s story. I expected to laugh my face off because hey, we’re talking about a cast mostly composed of giant ugly Muppets here. Surprisingly, the mascots from Hell didn’t take me out of the story. I very much enjoyed this whole wild rumpus of a movie.
Also, I learned a few things from watching it and I’m going to share these wild lessons right nnnnnnnNOW!
1. Good times never last but you can have as many as you like.
2. It’s all fun and games until someone steps on someone’s head.
3. Things and people change. But mostly people.
