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To whom it may concern (and I’m guessing there’s a lot of you),

I would like to apologize for my lack of prompt replies to your text messages. You probably think I’m a snob, which is a pretty girly thing to say, but I’m not. Well, I probably am, but not intentionally. You probably think that I don’t consider your messages important enough to warrant my precious time and attention. The lateness of my replies, if I ever do send replies, can be attributed to only one thing, and one thing alone: I HATE MOBILE PHONES.

OK, that’s too strong. Let me rephrase that: I’m not fond of always checking my mobile phone especially when I’m at home. Some of you may find this strange, maybe even retarded, but what are you gonna do? I hate checking my phone for new messages. I even hate hearing it ring or beep, that’s why I always keep it in “Meeting” mode. It’s actually more discreet than “Silent” mode in its default settings. Anyway, yeah. Don’t expect an immediate answer if you’re going to call me. Don’t think I’m blowing you off. I’m not. And don’t think I’m only doing it to you. I do it to everybody.

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Let’s face it. We live in a world where child molesters are in every corner. They’re in the playgrounds. They’re in the schools. They’re in the churches. They’re in our homes. They’re on the Internet, Facebooking and MySpacing your sweet, innocent, adorable little angels. And let’s not get started with serial killers and people who are itching to sell your children’s kidney in the black market for avant garde culinary douchebags to turn into Chinese soup.

We need to be mindful of our children’s whereabouts at all times, by any means necessary. Question is, are we really willing to go through these means? Would you go through any length to protect your child? Would you go as far as putting a GPS tracking device on your precious sons and daughters?

I would.

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No, this isn’t about HappySlip visiting the Philippines. This is all about YouTube and my iPod touch, Molesto. And Rambo.

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I let the world know about my desires for Christmas this year, and lo and behold, the world has granted me half of my two-item Christmas wish list (OK, not the world. The parental units. Thanks, Mom and Dad!) mere days before Christmas. I have now in my possession a totally awesome and totally shiny iPod touch. Let me show you it! First, the packaging:

It’s a tight little box made of sturdy stuff. I have perfume boxes bigger than this baby, and I fell in love with it immediately. See, I’d like to think of myself as a minimalist. That’s what makes me helplessly attracted to Apple products. In design terms, anyway. So, yeah. It got me at “Hello”.

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Dear Mr. Technology,

Hi. I’m Gino Carteciano and I’m a big fan. In fact, I took up Computer Science as a sign of my devotion to you. I’ve been mostly happy with you and your almost magical wonders, but recently, I’ve been getting harassed by your failures that are quite simply irritating and frustrating. I think I’m starting to hate you and everything closely related to you. Well, except the Bionic Woman.

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