In less than a week, the Philippines will pick a new president. We’ll be choosing a leader who we’ll be stuck with for the next 6 long years, that is if we don’t People Power their ass out of Malacañang or something. The future of the Philippines will be decided in a few days and I still haven’t made up my mind on who I’m voting for. This is my attempt in helping myself make this important decision.

Who I’m looking for:

• Someone who inspires trust. I know it’s a tall order since we’re talking about politicians, but being trustworthy is the first characteristic I look for in my leaders.
• Someone who is competent. They don’t have to be insanely intelligent. I just want someone who understands what this country needs and can figure out how we’re going to get it.
• Someone who is not hungry for power. That’s stupid considering we’re talking about people who are running for the highest office in the land, but somehow, I think I can tell who’s in it for the power and who’s in it because they really have noble intentions for the country.
• Someone new. Fuck traditional politicians.
• Someone who is capable of doing something about our stupid weather and other superhuman feats like eliminating corruption and poverty.

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Please allow me this short blog entry so I can pay my respects to the former Philippine president, Cory Aquino.

This is what I really see her as. She’s not just an old woman who wears yellow a lot. She was a symbol of peace, truth and hope. She was a beacon of faith. She was a mother to a nation. She is the face of the EDSA Revolution. She is a worldwide icon of democracy. And that’s why she has my undying respect.

R.I.P. Tita Cory

Dear Countries Who Ratified the Outer Space Treaty,

Greetings of love and peace! AND RAW EVIL! I am Baddie, and I am considering taking on a life of crime. I haven’t thought of a kick-ass super-villain name yet, but I’m getting there. Anyway, I just want to know how much trouble I’ll get myself into if I violate Article IV of the Outer Space Treaty that states…

States Parties to the Treaty undertake not to place in orbit around the Earth any objects carrying nuclear weapons or any other kinds of weapons of mass destruction, install such weapons on celestial bodies, or station such weapons in outer space in any other manner.

See, I have this diabolical plan to develop something called The Insanely Intense Death Ray of Pain that I shall install on the moon’s surface. I want to know how much resistance I can expect from you guys. Don’t get any ideas, though. You can only slow me down. Eventually, I will claim the moon as my own and on it, my Insanely Intense Death Ray of Pain will rise! YOU CAN’T STOP MY VILLAINY!

Sincerely,
Your Future Awesome Arch-Nemesis, Baddie

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With our planet’s health in dire straits, we need to do everything we can to protect and save the environment. We currently have a lot of ways to do this herculean task, and there will always be room for more. Enter: Australian SCIENCE! guy, Dr. George Wilson.

From BBC News:

The methane gas produced by sheep and cows through belching and flatulence is more potent than carbon dioxide in the damage it can cause to the environment.

But kangaroos produce virtually no methane because their digestive systems are different. Dr. George Wilson, of the Australian Wildlife Services, urges farming them.

He says they have a different set of micro-organisms in their guts to cows and sheep.

Sheep and cattle account for 11% of Australia’s carbon footprint and over the years, there have been various proposals to deal with the problem.

Now Dr. Wilson believes kangaroos might hold the answer.

He said: “It tastes excellent, not unlike venison – only a different flavour.”

Practically saying “YOU MARSUPIAL FUCKERS ARE SCREWED!”, Dr. Wilson’s words of SCIENCE! has sent shockwaves throughout the Australian fauna. I, Baddie, your shining Beacon of Truth, went Down Under to get the pulse of future double bacon cheeseburgers. I talked to a family of kangaroos that, strangely, can talk after I saved them from a pack of hungry, hungry dingos (because I’m awesome).

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