hello kitty

Breaking News: Hello Kitty Watches the Watchmen

Gino Carteciano Breaking News, Current Events 18 Comments

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who watches the watchmen? Who guards the guardians? Who polices the police? Hello Kitty, that’s who!

From BBC News:

hello kittyPolice chiefs in the Thai capital, Bangkok, have come up with a new way of punishing officers who break the rules – an eye-catching Hello Kitty armband.

The armband is large, bright pink and has a Hello Kitty motif with two hearts embroidered on it.

From today, officers who are late, park in the wrong place or commit other minor transgressions will have to wear it for several days.

Through the power of telepathy, I managed to conduct a profound interview with one of the first officers who were reprimanded using this dastardly tool of discipline:

Baddie: How does it feel to be shamed by this sinister armband? Do you realize that you look like a gay?

Thai Cop: I don’t really see why… wait. A gay? NOOOOOOOO!!!! (translated from Thailanese)

It seems that nothing can put shame on one’s person more than Hello Kitty. Thai police officers will now dread being late or parking in the wrong place, thanks to this Japanese weapon of ultimate humiliation. After having been shamed by this adorable cartoon character, these cops will never look at a Hello Kitty lunch box the same way again. Oh, the humanity!

Reports say that nearby regions will soon adopt this deceptively cute initiative. Malaysian cops will be threatened by the superheroics of the Powerpuff Girls. Indonesian police will be kept in line by Kero Kero Keroppi. And finally, in the Philippines, discipline will come in the form of Pikachu.

Countries refuse to use the Little Mermaid to punish their peace keepers. They’re afraid that Ariel will only distract other horny cops because she’s not cute, she’s hot. Especially when she’s swimming provocatively and singing seducti… okaaay. Report over.

Comments 18

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  3. @Aja: Who the hell's Chansey?! LOL But yeah, I think Pikachu's not a gay enough choice. Rainbow Brite?

    @Karlo: I dunno. I think that's too discreet for Pinoy cops. You know what would really bring on the shame? Big placards that say "WAG GAYAHIN =(".

    @Steel: I'm glad to be part of your retardation cycle, good sir.

    @Iya: With matching tiara? Genius! Ahlaveht.

  4. @Ade: Whattaghey.

    @Prudence: I don't know about cuter, but it will definitely be gayer.

    @Helga: Like, f'realz.

    @Aja: Oh yeah, he's way gayer than Pikachu. Ade wouldn't mind wearing Chansey either.

    @Niki: I almost forgot the Carebears! They're the awesomest cute gay characters evar!

    @RJ: (see reply to Ade)

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