Last month, I didn’t write anything for this blog. This is very unusual because I write about anything that remotely registers as “interesting” in my life and last month was more than remotely interesting. You see, in March of 2011, I fell in love with a girl. (Yes, this is one of those sappy entries. Get out now while you still can.) She had me in her thrall SO HARD that nothing else seemed to matter — including blogging. One minute, I’m stalking her online and the next, I find myself in complete surrender. Maggie. That’s her name. Maggie the Marvelous Monarch of Mischief and Moxie.

I’d like to believe that I’m good with words. Sometimes, I even believe that I’m smarter and more witty than your average Internet person. OK, I always believe that. Because I’m a douche. In my mind, I am awesome and charming and intelligent and funny and I can never find my equal. I feel unstoppable. And then I met Maggie and I was stumped. Here is a girl who is able to outsmart me at every turn. She outwits me every time I think I am the wittiest of the witty. She charms the shit out of me and I am helpless. As God is my witness, she actually makes me think before I say anything. I never do that! She is one sneaky lady, that Maggie. I hate her.

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In the past few months, I’ve acquired quite a lot of new friends and acquaintances online and IRL. Since I haven’t been blogging �as much as I used to, I feel that I need to introduce myself to you good people. What better way to do it than to run a contest? And the prize? My iPod Touch.

It’s a first generation one and it’s been with me for a while. I know it’s already used, but hey. It’s better than nothing, right? Also, I took really good care of it. All you have to do to get this 3-year old thingamajig is to determine which 5 of the following pieces of information are true. That’s right. Tell me which 5 items are facts and I’ll give you Molesto and all of its accessories. And the box featuring Macy Gray. Post your answers in the default comments area or the Facebook comments area. Ready? Let’s go!

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