No, this is not about Halloween or All Saints Day, but it is appropriate since Halloween and All Saints Day are a few days away. This is about the dead, yes. Specifically, me. See, a year ago, I wrote a sappy blog entry called A Book Called Trouble. I talked about writing a book about a girl, the last chapter dedicated to the many ways she kills me every single day. Now feels like the right time to outline this last chapter. It seems certain that no more chapters will be written. This is going to be another sappy blog entry, so if you don’t feel like reading something that could make you barf, get out. GET OUT NOW.

Still here? Awkward. And now, let me tell you about the many ways that I’ve died at the hands of the girl called Trouble.

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A fat douchebag walks into a bar

I sat alone at one of the little tables at IC’s Bar in Los Baños. I ordered their famous quarter pounder burger and a bottle of San Mig Light. I was thinking about the stupid life choices I made that led me to that lonely situation. I was thinking about what beer could do to my body if I’m taking antibiotics, because I totally am. I was thinking about the burger and how delicious it was. I kept checking my phone, somehow hoping for a miracle. And then an old man walked into the bar.

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I’m the treasurer of the Straight Edge Society.

For the past 30 days, I’ve been living relatively clean. I haven’t had a taste of alcohol in a month. A MONTH! It’s almost a straight edge life if not for the fact that I smoke, watch TV, eat junk food and dick around the Internet all day. But yes, for the past 30 days, I have managed to stay away from alcohol. If you know me, this is a shocker. If you want to quit alcohol for a whole month too, let me give you some tips.

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At first glance, High School of the Dead seems like animated softcore porn with zombies. It’s full of gratuitous shots of boobs and butts. But if you look past bouncing tits and spread crotches, you will see a George Romero zombie movie infused with anime elements. That’s right. I said it. If George Romero made an anime zombie movie, it would look something like High School of the Dead.

The same social commentary found in George Romero zombie movies is found here. You just have to dig deeper and get past the T&A. Once you realize that this is more than just a series of scenes with a pair of large breasts kicking zombie ass, you can appreciate the fact that you are watching human nature in an apocalyptic scenario. You will then start asking yourself how you would react when zombies suddenly emerge and plunge the world into utter chaos.

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My current TV watching habits are limited to news programs and Discovery Travel & Living, which is now known as TLC. So forgive me if I don’t care much about most of the results of the recently concluded Primetime Emmy Awards. However, I did find some moments of the show very amusing.

Born to ROCK.

That opening skit was definitely the highlight of the show. You got Fallon, Fey, Lynch, Hamm, the Glee kids, that chick from the Vampire Diaries and Hurley singing and dancing and letting everyone know that it’s not going to be the same old dull awards show from years past. It just set the tone for the rest of the night. Well, at least for the entire Comedy section of the awards.

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