I Used To Draw Stuff: A Peek Into My High School Senior Mind

Back in grade school, I started to draw sketch doodle a lot. It became a hobby. I wasn’t very good at it but I had enough skills to join art contests and not totally suck at it. I joined art contests and other academic battles for supremacy just for the experience. OK, I lied. I did it so I could legally skip class. Believe it or not, I actually won a couple of art contests. It was totally retarded. After high school, though, I lost interest in drawing shit.

Recently, I got a hold of a picture of one of my stupid drawings courtesy of my former girlfriend. Back in my senior year, when we were still a couple, I borrowed her sketchpad and I doodled some stuff in it.

Welcome to the mind of High School Senior Baddie:

I don’t remember exactly why I drew these things. I can’t even remember what some of these things are, but let me try to make sense of it all:

1. I think that’s the Youth for Christ logo and it seems like I was trying to stab it with a trident. I was a very active member of that religious organization, I even served as the president of our school’s chapter. But for the life of me, I can’t recall a good reason why I would want to kill the YFC bird with a three-pronged spear.
2. The Comedy and Drama masks with… a Two Face mask with a halo? I have no idea what this means.
3. The Ace of Spades and another card. I had a thing about cards in high school. Long story.
4. A fan and something I can’t make out. I sort of understand why I drew a fan. It was my favorite thing to give to the girls who inspired me. I have no idea why either.
5. I’m guessing that’s a van. The first vehicle I drove regularly was our family van. I guess that was important to me at the time.
6. A heart shattering into pieces. Well that seems normal. I mean, who hasn’t doodled a broken heart at least once in their life? AM I RIGHT?!
7. That looks like a card and a wound that’s half-open and half-stitched. I know this is very disturbing for some of you, but let me just say that I have never attempted to hurt myself physically. Well, I did slap my own face several times before, but I only did it for the lulz.
8. A clock. Half of its face is off-panel so I can’t say what time it is. Man, if Past Baddie drew this to give me, Present Baddie, a message, Past Baddie totally failed. SO HARD.
9. I believe that’s a midget pencil writing something on a really long piece of paper. I used to write a lot of pointless essays and stupid poems back in high school (as opposed to writing a lot of relevant and intelligent stuff in recent years on this blog?). I actually thought I would have a future in writing because I seemed to have a very impressive grasp on the English language. My spelling and grammar skills, plus my vocabulary, were above average. Or so I thought. Bottom line is, yeah, I loved and still love writing shit.
10. That’s me on a magic carpet saying “Hi!” Whatever.
11. I… I think that’s an airplane on fire crashing upwards. Huh. High School Baddie is starting to really scare me.
12. Those circles are the logos of the Avengers, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, Superman and Batman. I think. I’ve been a fan of comic books since I was in grade school so this makes sense to me.
13. That’s a mermaid. Ariel, the Little Mermaid, to be exact. I have a huge crush on her, OK?!
14. Are those… flowers? I think so. I’m not big on the idea of giving flowers so I’m not sure why I drew flowers. Meh.
15. I have no frickin’ idea what this is.
16. Three crosses, a guitar, a pick and different versions of how I write the number 2. The guitar and the pick I can explain. I had an electric guitar in high school and I used to play it ever single day after school. I wasn’t in a band, though. I just liked to rock out with my cock out in my room. Hey, I was a teenager. I had a lot of angst. The crosses I can’t explain. The number 2s I can explain, but I’d rather not.

You have no idea how disturbing it is for me to decode something I drew 10 years ago. I’m thinking I doodled these things to tell my then-girlfriend who I was and what were the things that were keeping my mind busy at the time. I’m surprised it didn’t scare her away.

It’s fun to look back into my senior year state of mind. It’s a little baffling and scary, but man it sure brings back the good ol’ awkward days. I think I’ll go through my old stuff to see if I managed to save other interesting things from high school. I’m pretty sure I have a box of old love letters somewhere in my room. Should be fun to blog about it.

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