A Book Called Trouble

Whenever something or someone fascinates me enough, I get inspired to write a blog post. Sometimes, I write poetry (SHUT UP). And then there are those rare moments when I get the urge to write an entire a book. Of course, it’s only an urge. I never get the chance to actually start writing one. Well, except for that one time when I wrote half a chapter of a book about the staff of a high school newspaper fighting terrorists and werewolves. I digress. The point is, I feel like writing a book right now and it, like most of my dumb ideas, is inspired by a girl.

I would start the book with how I met her. How that night became legendary for us and our friends. I shall call this chapter “That Fateful Night”. I’ll discuss the intricate relationships involved and how, in a span of a few months, it all got increasingly complicated to the point of total hilarity.

I would follow that up with a chapter on how she started to blow my mind with her sense of humor, spirit and several talents. The day I said “Hooo boy. This girl’s Trouble.”

I would write a chapter about her love for her family and her loyalty to her friends.

A chapter about her faith and how she inspires others around her.

A chapter about the mask she wears. She has this unbreakable wall that makes her look like an ice queen. A mean girl. An indestructible young woman with an iron will, armed with a cold stare. This will be followed by a chapter on how, in rare moments, I get to see the incredibly sweet person behind the silk curtain.

I would dedicate two chapters to the songs I want her to sing.

I would compile the poems I wrote for her for the next chapter, and how she feels about them. This would require me to discuss the fact that she doesn’t like cheesy shit.

I would write a chapter about her altruistic nature and how that makes her totally hot.

I would write a couple of chapters about the things she loves like flowers and chocolates and pizza and big stuffed animals and singing and laughing and cheesy Tagalog movies and Regine Velasquez and Mariah Carey and books.

Several chapters on her elusive smile and her cute little giggle.

A chapter about how, in certain days, she becomes this unstoppable force of nature. A creature of pure RAGE. A cosmic entity of chaos, devastation and destructi– OK I’m sorry. I just get really scared when she’s in a bad mood.

A chapter on things like unicorns, radio waves, flying bears, old photos of old places, sunshine and angels. I’ll find a way to bring it all together to describe how whimsical she is.

A chapter on that time we got stranded at an outdoor table in the middle of a downpour and how it felt like the safest place in the world for me.

A chapter on how she can get into people’s minds and drive them crazy.

I would give the book an open-ended final chapter because I don’t want to stop dissecting her. Which is totally creepy, right? I’m going to fill it with death. “The Many Deaths of Gino Carteciano”. I would discuss how she kills me every single day and how she literally killed me after she read this blog entry.

• Volume 2
• Haiku Hooliganism: Dr. Doom
• It’s 4 AM and I’m at a McDonald’s, blogging about random shit.
• 15 Things That Keep Me Up At Night
• Why I’m Asking You Out