July 29th, 2009 General Dickery
Ask/Tell Baddie ANYTHING is a product of the current bandwagon in Tumblr wherein people create FormSpring forms or answerable text posts so other people can ask or tell them shit. It’s a fun way to interact with people on Tumblr and I’m telling you, I haven’t had this much fun since Twitter was still the new thing. Anyway, I unleashed my FormSpring form a couple of hours ago and I think it’s time to respond to the questions and the comments.
The very first response is from an anonymous source and this person asks “Did you know?” If you’re asking about that thing you did last summer, then yes. I do.
Internet hooligan Pau was second in line and this is what he has to say: “Why aren’t you a dick? I thought you liked dicks.” If you have seen my form, you’ll know that he’s being a clever dickhead. Man, what a dickhead.
Francis gives a nerdgeek salute with this message: “I know how much you like those Comic-Con babes and I know you’re a Green Lantern fanboy as well. Here ya go. You can thank me later. MORE POWER!” I’m thanking you now, fellow nerdgeek. I’m thanking you HARD.
Someone called BaddieLove asks “Baddie? Why are you so awesome?” Well, BaddieLove, because there’s nothing worse in life than being NOT awesome. Strong high five 7 times! *BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM KA-BOOOOOOM!*
Read More
July 17th, 2009 Movies
‘Sup, guys? Colonel Herzog here. I implore you to watch Dead Snow because, to quote Baddie who watched it last night, “IT’S FRICKIN’ AWESOME!”
In this movie, Nazi zombies (that’s us! *giggles*) terrorize a bunch of disposable medical students during their ski vacation. Those meddling kids messed with our shiny treasures so we messed up their intestines. It doesn’t make sense to you, but that’s how we Nazi zombies roll.
This movie is a very satisfying clusterfuck of old school horror and new school gore. It’s funny. It’s disgusting. The plot is irrelevant. Just the way that fool Baddie likes it. Ein! Zwei! Die!
July 7th, 2009 Movies
It has been brought to my attention that there is a movie called Retardead and it’s about a bunch of special people who were turned into flesh-eating zombies.
It just blew my mind. It also made me realize that it’s easy to come up with a high concept when zombies are involved. Why, just this morning while I was driving to work, I came up with 6 one-paragraph movie pitches that I hope some dickhead in Hollywood would steal and develop into real movies:
Read More
July 1st, 2009 Music
I know. That title is an easy target for Pedo Michael jokes, but you need to know that I’m serious and I will not make Michael Jackson jokes in this post. I’m writing this with the motto “Say only good things about the recently dead.” or something. This is about my early childhood memories of the King of Pop. I may not be his biggest fan, but I know that in my younger years, he touched me. Yes, Michael Jackson touched me when I was still a little boy.
MJ touched Bubbles the Chimp and Mr. Bulldog (not real name) too.
Read More
