Leave Michael Bay Alone!
Over at Patrick Goldstein’s LA Times blog, he let “a bunch of highly opinionated teenagers” review summer movie trailers with him. Pretty smart, right? I mean, most of the big summer blockbuster movies are aimed at the younger crowd. It’s only appropriate that we know what they think about upcoming flicks. NOT.
They said some things about the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer that got my panties in a bunch slightly upset me. Before I put these kids in their place, here’s the trailer:
And now for the excerpts from the critique:
Ben Sassoon, 17: “I can’t say this got my hopes up. It’s just a lot of explosions.”
This is a movie about giant transforming robots who punch each other every chance they get. What were you hoping for, a sweeping drama with elaborate plot twists and elegant character development? Also, “JUST a lot of explosions”? “JUST”?! You disgust me, kid.
He then adds:
This reminds me of why I’m not a big fan of Michael Bay. He keeps making the same movie, over and over again, as if he hopes someday he’ll get it right.
LEAVE MICHAEL BAY ALONE! He’s given us the gift of explosions, giant robots and Megan Fox! What the fuck is not right with that?!
Molly Philbin, 15: “And they only said five words in the whole trailer. I’m sure all those special effects were hard to do, but if you haven’t seen the first movie, I’m not sure you’d even understand what was going on. And most of what was going on sure didn’t look that good.”
Trailers aren’t supposed to tell you everything about a movie. It’s meant to tease and give you a peak at what you can expect from the movie. Seriously, who wants a dialogue-heavy trailer for a movie about giant robots destroying DEVASTATING stuff? Also, I don’t know what looks good to you. It sure as hell isn’t buildings getting torn down and giant robots transforming into shit.
Jasmine Jafari, 15: “I wasn’t sure I even knew what the movie was about until halfway through the trailer, and I probably know more than most people, since I have a little brother who’s into Transformers. I think he’d be a lot more interested in the movie than me. It just felt pretty senseless.”
Kids these days. FEH.
Related Posts:
Kids who don’t like explosions? What is wrong with the world today?
Bah. Nobody will listen to a bunch of stupid kids anyways.
FUCKTARDS! That’s what they are! Stupid FUCKTARDIC kids.
THOSE KIDS NEED A SANCTIMONIOUS PLURKLEAR BOMB POWERED BY PLASERS!
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on rottentomatoes.com:
Reviews Counted: 213
Fresh: 41 Rotten:172
T-meter: 19%
Average Rating: 3.9/10
Consensus: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a noisy, underplotted, and
overlong special effects extravaganza that lacks a human touch.
___
Reviews:
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments.
Roger Ebert
Loud, long and utterly incomprehensible, ‘Revenge of the Fallen’ is an exquisitely painful experience that pummels the senses as it confounds the intellect.
Rossiter Drake
San Francisco Examiner
The worst thing about the movie, out of many, is that it takes a $200 million budget and a two-and-a-half hour running time, and not a single memorable, impressive or fun thing happens.
Stephen Silver
The Trend
Much of the movie is computer-generated hash, weightless even with nonstop BOOMS and METAL GROANS and THUDS.
David Edelstein
New York Magazine
A crowning achievement–the first English-language film that needs subtitles in order to understand it. It’s a shoo-in for the Razzies–Worst Foreign Language Movie in a Non Foreign Language.
Christopher Smith
Bangor Daily News (Maine)
A posed, pop-art cinematic ejaculation of instinctive, unthinking extremes. And no, that’s not a good thing, sorry.
Brent Simon
Shared Darkness
The hip-hop talking robots were borderline offensive. Is this the movie’s way of appealing to the African-American audience? I never knew that robots could shuck n’ jive.
Clay Cane
BET.com
I’d call it a typical summer blockbuster but then that’d be aninsult to summer blockbusters…
Felix Vasquez Jr.
Cinema Crazed
Director Michael Bay sure knows something the rest of us above the age of 19 don’t.
Jules Brenner
Cinema Signals
If when you were a child–either with Mr. Wizard or alone–you had passed a magnet over a pile of iron filings, you would have unknowingly created the action scenes of Michael Bay’s latest blockbuster, Transformers: Revenge of the
Fallen.
Brandon Judell
CultureCatch
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is an impressive potboiler. But its overheated pot has a lot of holes.
Tony Macklin
tonymacklin.net
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen may not be the worst movie ever made, but with its 150-minute running time, it very likely is the most obnoxious.
Ken Hanke
Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
One can’t tell if it’s inspired in its attempts to find something that will draw us in or just colossally sloppy.
Jeremy Heilman
MovieMartyr.com
You might make it out of the movie with your soul barely intact, but the actors in the film don’t fare so well.
Cole Smithey
ColeSmithey.com
takes everything that was bad about the first Transformers movie two years ago, and amplifies it to deafening proportions
James Kendrick
Q Network Film Desk
It’s not so much that the story is inherently bad; it’s more that it seems no one bothered to put one in at all, and worse, that no one seems to have cared.
Kim Voynar
Hey congrats! You can copy-paste! :D