What’s that noise?

Is that the sound of a sharks firing lasers from their eyes, illuminating the dark depths of the ocean, melting away the slimy tentacles of a giant squid while pink dolphins aimlessly scramble for safety?

Is that the sound of ninjas fighting superhero samurais with throwing stars, shiny swords, three-pronged spears, thorn-ladden whips, battle axes and sharp minds while the city burns down around them?

Is that the sound of cowboys trying to wrangle unicorns and ponies with wings on a field of carnivorous trees, wind-riding elephants, and naked elves while the sky rains fire?

Is that the sound of robots and cyborgs crying, weeping and sobbing as they watch angels  riding dragons descending from the clouds shaped like tanks and fighter jets?

Is that the sound of pirates charging against zombies on a crystal sand beach, trying to end a war that will determine who gets control of the island with dinosaurs, sexy women and ghosts of long forgotten cartoon characters?

Is that the sound of a bear king ravaging his own kingdom with machine guns and hand grenades while he’s smoking a cigar with green smoke, upset that he can’t get a cash advance that will allow him to feed his royal family with golden fish and grilled hamburgers?

It’s all of the above. That noise is your childhood banging on the door, demanding that you let it in your life again. You’ve become a cold, conceited and pretentious little adult who gets off on making other people feel inferior and insignificant compared to their self-proclaimed relevance.

Don’t ignore that noise. It’s the only noise that can make your life fun. Remember that word? “Fun”? Yeah. HEED THE NOISE.