So I was listening to the Watchmen soundtrack, totally enjoying tracks like “The Times They Are A-Changin’” by Bob Dylan, “All Along The Watchtower” by Jimi Hendrix, and “I’m Your Boogie Man” by K.C. And The Sunshine Band. And then I heard My Chemical Romance’s version of “Desolation Row” and I was like “What the eff is this shit?”

I know it’s a way for the soundtrack to somehow connect with the kids, but I wish they used another band to cover the song or they could’ve just used the original. Heck, it would’ve been awesome if they remastered or remixed the Grateful Dead version. Like all Bob Dylan songs, the beauty of “Desolation Row” lies in the lyrics. You can’t really appreciate the song if you can’t understand the lyrics, can you? And let’s face it, all you can hear in MCR’s cover is SHOUTING. Lots and lots of shouting. Am I right, Statler and Waldorf?

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I have to admit, I’m not a big fan of Dreamworks animated features. Sure, I enjoyed Ice Age and Shrek the first time I saw them, but it got old fast. Whenever there’s a new animated movie from Dreamworks, I go “MEH”, except when I heard about Monsters vs. Aliens. If you know me or if you’ve read my blog before, you’d know that a movie with a title like that will totally get my attention. It’s a complete joy to hear the voices of Jack Bauer, Dr. House, George Oscar Bluth, that creepy guy from The Office, and Stephen frickin’ Colbert working together to bring the noise. The noise of LOLs. Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, and INSECTOSAURUS do their part too. The plot is as simple as the title, but it’s all about the kinetic energy between the actors and the deliciously funny gags. All in all, it’s just a fun movie that I will definitely enjoy seeing over and over again.

Yes, I followed the first season of Privileged. Yes, that Privileged. Let me explain.

I wanted to watch Gossip Girl because everybody was, and still is, talking about it. I heard the show has some pretty hot rich chicks, and if there’s one thing I like more than people getting hit in the face with stuff, it’s hot rich chicks. There was one problem, though. I hate jumping into a show in mid season. My prime objective was to see hot rich chicks gossip about each other, yes but I also want to get into the story so I can get the most out of the experience. So Gossip Girl was out, and the new CW show also featuring hot rich chicks called “Privileged” was in.

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What’s that noise?

Is that the sound of a sharks firing lasers from their eyes, illuminating the dark depths of the ocean, melting away the slimy tentacles of a giant squid while pink dolphins aimlessly scramble for safety?

Is that the sound of ninjas fighting superhero samurais with throwing stars, shiny swords, three-pronged spears, thorn-ladden whips, battle axes and sharp minds while the city burns down around them?

Is that the sound of cowboys trying to wrangle unicorns and ponies with wings on a field of carnivorous trees, wind-riding elephants, and naked elves while the sky rains fire?

Is that the sound of robots and cyborgs crying, weeping and sobbing as they watch angels  riding dragons descending from the clouds shaped like tanks and fighter jets?

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Must be between 18-30 years old. Male or female, but preferably female. Who is hot. And single.

Must be capable of drinking alcoholic beverages on a school/work night. I hear one “But it’s only Monday!” from you and you get a slap on the mouth!

Must be willing to drink a lot of beer. None of those colorful pussy drinks with tiny umbrellas. Pass out after two bottles of beer and I’ll leave you for dead.

Must be physically strong. Just in case I need someone to drag me to my car so I can drive home drunk.

Must be capable of striking stupid poses with me for photos that we will probably regret posing for the next day. Like so:

SUPERDOUCHEBAGS.

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