It’s the last day of February. The last day of Love Month. There’s only one appropriate way to end this shit and it’s to bastardize a classic song. Apologies to Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias, the lyric writers of To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before.
To all the girls I’ve loved before
Who slammed my face to the door
My nose got hurt the most
so I dedicate this post
To all the girls I’ve loved before
To all the girls I once caressed
And can I just say I’ve held the loveliest breasts
For giving me awesome jobs of blow
I owe a lot I know
To all the girls I’ve loved before
My sexy time sense is tingling
And every time with my hand I play
I see you girls when I’m dreaming
Every single lonely day
To all the girls who I wanted to be my wife
Who now have sucky lives
To babies you became the host
I LOL and dedicate this post
To all the girls I’ve loved before
To all the girls who made love to me
Who filled my nights with grunts of ecstasy
You broke my fragile heart
I dedicate this fart
To all the girls I’ve loved before
PMS episodes are humbling
And every time I try to stay away
Your life dreams are now crumbling
And I’m now giggling in a retarded way
To all the girls I’ve loved before
Who left their sexy lingerie on my floor
I’m glad you touched my dong
I dedicate this song
To all the girls I’ve loved before
P.S. – If you’re actually one of the girls I’ve loved before, please know that I’m just kidding. I miss you all. Let’s be friends?
bravo! well done!
I'd bee your friend, if ya know what I mean.
(applause) I LOVE this baddie <3
Thanks, guys! (cozy) Except RJ.
we are even more than friends sweetie. :)
see you soon.
I'm willing to pay good money to have Baddie record this shit.
yes. sing this shit and record it so the whole world can hear it.
What a dickhead.
You know you are.
xoxo,
TBG
PS. I enjoyed this, though :p
@Ladyfriend: :)
@Ade and Arc: Careful what you wish for.
@TBG: Well I miss you too. :)
those girls must've been cursing you by now haha. good song though. :)