Things I Think About While Swimming in Our Pool
I’ve been swimming regularly in our pool for about half a year now and I’m getting a lot of benefits from it. First, it’s an awesome way to beat the heat. It’s also a nice way to work out, especially since I’m fat and too lazy to go to the gym or run or bike or do sit-ups. Helps my lung strength too (I really should stop smoking). The best benefit I get from swimming in our pool is I get to be alone. I get the chance to meditate about my life. You know, important stuff. And now, I’d like to share these things to you in a piece I’d like to call…
First of which is “FUNNY CATS”
I SPENT THE FIRST 26 YEARS OF MY LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO SWIM
Man, I can’t believe I just learned how to swim a few months ago. I don’t know how I enjoyed swimming parties and trips with only The Cannonball, The Belly Flop, The Stick to the Sides Shenanigan, and The Doggie Paddle for a Few Feet in my swimming arsenal. My consolation for this 26-year I-Can’t-Swim era is that I learned to swim all by myself.
MICHAEL PHELPS IS A DOUCHEBAG
Seriously, he is. I heard he won 74 gold medals in the Douchebag Olympics. He won a trophy for the Douchebag Cup. He was given a certificate for Outstanding Douchebaggery. He won a Nobel Prize in Douchebag Science. He’s in line to get a Douchebag of the Year award from the International Order of Douchebags AND the Douchebag Alliance of America. I bet after 50 years, when he’s probably still beating everybody and their uncle in swimming AND fucking mermaids, he’d get a Lifetime Achievement Award in the Field of Douchebaggery.
CAMILLA BELLE, KIM SMITH, AND LAURA RAMSEY
MY NEXT BLOG ENTRY
What should I put in this stupid blog that will not look stupid but probably will anyway? Why do I even bother? Will people spend their valuable time commenting on this supposed non-stupid entry instead of Superpoking their friends on Facebook? How can I convince my friends to keep me as their friend after they read this crap?
INTERNATIONAL POLITICS AND LOCAL CURRENT EVENTS
I’m kidding.
GHOSTS
I almost always swim at night, OK?! It’s dark and I hear strange noises!
MY NEXT NIGHT OUT WITH FRIENDS
I always look forward to the next time I can drink beer with my friends. Although the best beer parties are always those you didn’t plan for.
I DIDN’T STRETCH
Again. Seriously, I don’t know why I don’t stretch before swimming, knowing that after I get out of the pool, I’m going to feel my muscles hurting like a bitch. This is how lazy I am, people. It’s pathetic, really.
BATBEAR
Well, these are the usual stuff I think about when I’m meditating in the pool. Of course, I also think about work and romance, but you don’t need to know about those. Heh.
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I wish we have our own pool so I can meditate and think stuff, too, and possibly post about it on my blog :P
Miss Dré´s last blog post: Deadlock
You rich bastard!
You need to think of Batbear more. While masturbating.
I wish I had my own pool… That way I could also have the time to meditate and think about stuff… Like that Kim Smith chick.
Lol.
so i’m not a lost cause yet! i still don’t know how to swim.
Camilla Belle high five!!
Also, any chance you’d invite TMB for a pool party, let’s say, in this decade?
Work and romance, I’ve read about. *wiggles eyebrows*
Tiffy´s last blog post: Recipe | 15-minute Pasta
First i’ve gotta say, I salute you for finally learning how to swim after 26 years.. ’cause I probably won’t learn. ever. haha.
Everything about what you pondered on while swimming is pretty normal..except for BatBear… hahaha.
Ayzee´s last blog post: someone worth all the trouble.
ah di ka pala marunong lumangoy. We’ll at least di ako nag-iisa! hahaha
@RJ: HAI FAIV!
@Ade: I think about RobinBear while masturbating.
@Tiffy: Hihihihihi!
@Ayzee: Thanks! You can do it too! You just need practice. Also, thinking about Batbear is pretty normal for me. lulz
Do you also think about sharks? Everyone knows pools are more often than not infested by sharks. Right?
Steel´s last blog post: Random junk off my trunk!: Pedestrain Crossing
Steel you FOOL! We have shark repellent! DUH.
So. Pool Party? :D
Jewel´s last blog post: By any other name, I would smell as sweet. I guess.
I told you, Jew. You will only be invited to a pool party at our house if you promise to wear skimpy bikini. So. Pool party?
Pool party! Also, we have the same taste in girls, i love those three!
Yo Penneh!´s last blog post: beautiful lines.
That is some inspirational stuff. Under no circumstances knew that opinions could be this varied. Thanks for all the enthusiasm to submit such constructive knowledge here.