For weeks — nay, months! — I’ve been seriously considering quitting smoking. What prevented me from succeeding was the stupid reason of not having someone to constantly police me, aside from my family of course. You know, a girl. I know, I’m the biggest attention whore ever. So yeah, the continuation of my love affair with Death is all because of the 3rd Stupidest Reason Not to Quit Smoking ever: “I don’t have a girlfriend to keep me in line.” (The 2nd is “I really like cancer!” and the 1st is “I don’t care about the feelings of Jesus.”)

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Less than 2 years ago, Pluto was demoted to being a dwarf planet. I covered the reactions of the other planets after the shocking demotion. Now, it’s time that we check up on the ex-planet. It’s time for us to go Behind the Planet, or should I say, the dwarf planet. Snapz!

After Pluto was expelled from our solar system’s planetary club, life went on for the remaining 8 planets. Jupiter proceeded to brag about his awesome Great Red Spot, Mercury continued with his eccentric orbit around the Sun, and Earth stayed blue and pretty. Business as usual. Pluto, however, went on to follow a lonely dark path to deep depression.

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I had a Greek marathon over the weekend. No, I’m not talking about the athletic long-distance endurance race that originated from the legend of a dude who ran from Marathon to Athens. I’m talking about the ABC Family TV show, Greek. I watched 17 episodes over the weekend and I loved every minute of it.

Aside from its humor, the thing I love about the show is its ability to bring me back to my own college years. In those days, everything felt so new, fresh, and enticing. It’s nice to be reminded of carefree days when you’re stressing over work, a non-existent social life, and regular financial crises.

Speaking of financial crises, you know what’s a good idea to keep the stress off? A magical thing called payday loans. Let it help you with your financial difficulties and let Greek handle the rest of your stress demons. WATCH IT!

So I was watching the 2-hour finale of Lost’s 4th season over the weekend, right? I don’t want to spoil anything, but watching it made me realize that there’s one thing missing in my life right now, and that’s an island that can defy the Laws of Physics!

I want one. I need one. And not just the island. I want to have everything in it. Lush green jungles, beautiful landscapes, time machines, black smoke monsters, polar bears, and Evangeline Lilly. I have got to get me a Lost island ASAP. But how? The money I’m making right now will probably only get me three cans of Dharma Initiative organic diced tomatoes.

I need some sort of financial help. Maybe a cash advance loan or something. That and selling my body to the highest bidder might do the trick. Yeah, that’s it. I am so bright.