For weeks — nay, months! — I’ve been seriously considering quitting smoking. What prevented me from succeeding was the stupid reason of not having someone to constantly police me, aside from my family of course. You know, a girl. I know, I’m the biggest attention whore ever. So yeah, the continuation of my love affair with Death is all because of the 3rd Stupidest Reason Not to Quit Smoking ever: “I don’t have a girlfriend to keep me in line.” (The 2nd is “I really like cancer!” and the 1st is “I don’t care about the feelings of Jesus.”)

Last week, though, I reached an epiphany. As I was smoking while driving, a stray ember made its way between my back and the driver’s seat. Long story short, I ended up with a burnt seat cover and a hole on the back of one of my favorite shirts. Smoking doesn’t just destroy my body. It can also easily destroy everything else I hold dear! Like the skin on my back.

A few days after this harrowing experience, I got myself confined to a hospital, and in that depressing place of old people and hot nurses with ugly orderly boyfriends, I convinced myself to finally consider quitting the vile habit. It took me a few more days before I finally decided to do it. Last night, I told myself “Tomorrow’s going to be a brand new day, Baddie ol’ pal!” This morning, I woke up and saw 3 cancer sticks in front of me. The last of my stash. I stared at them. It was like gazing upon 3 sharp claws on Death’s icy hands.

I smoked the 3 cigarettes. FAIL.

But seriously, I smoked them before I got to the office. I smoked the last one at around 8:30 AM today. I haven’t smoked since. Today, I make a stand! A couple of days before Philippine Independence Day, I celebrate my own freedom. Freedom from Nicotine! BOO-YAH! And this blog series will be here to chronicle my quest to be nicotine-free from this day onwards.

Now, I know myself well enough to say that I haven’t had my last cigarette. It would be nice to know that I’ve already smoked my last piece of cancer, but who am I kidding? One moment of weakness and BAM! I’ll be puffing like a magic dragon in the sky with diamonds. I just want myself to stay away from the blasted things for as long as I can. I want you to join me in this struggle to escape Death’s icy menthol grip and to kick Nicotine right IN THE FACE! Jesus help me, from this day forth, I will only smoke when I’m on FIRE!