It just occurred to me that since I spend a lot of time on the road, I have a lot of road stories to tell. So many, in fact, that I can base a new recurring blog series on them. And since I just had another blog-worthy (well, at least for me) experience on the road, I’ll start that new blog series riiiiiiiight… NOW!
There are just days that can easily be categorized as sucky. You know, immediately after opening your eyes in the morning, you tell yourself “Fuck. It’s gonna be a sucky day. *groan*” All day at work, you’re like “Gahhhhd this is a sucky day.” and you can’t wait to go home. And when you’re already on your way home, you keep thinking “I’m going home I’m going home I’m going home GODDAMMIT THE DAY AIN’T OVER YET!” Today, ladies and gentlemen, is one of those days for me.
Immediately after waking up, thoughts of “I wanna stay in beeeeeed.” and “God I sooo want to sleep all day.” ran through my head. A few minutes after leaving the house, I was greeted a good morning by the god-awful traffic on my way to SLEX. Once I got on the expressway, more hellish traffic put the exclamation mark on my Tuesday morning suckery. With a foul mood all day at work, I eagerly awaited the end of it all. Once I got out of the office, I was like “Fuck yeah I’m going home!” And then the Universe snuck up on me. But unlike last time, he was triumphant. That bastard.
As I was driving peacefully along C5, rocking out to Rihanna (shut up!), something hit the front passenger seat window. I didn’t realize it first. I thought the vehicle beside me blew up or something. I was doing 80 km/h like most of the vehicles around me so I couldn’t take my eyes completely off the road. It took me a few seconds before I realized my window was fucked. I was at the leftmost lane, right along the center island, and it took me a while before I could reach the side of the road to the right. When I was already parked, I was about half a kilometer away from where I was screwed. I had two options:
- Leave Fucker on the side of the road and look for the bastard/s who launched a mysterious projectile at me. (I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t see if it was from a non-moving source on the side of the road or if it came from another vehicle. I didn’t even know what the projectile was!)
- Tuck my tail between my legs, drive away, and scream expletives all the way to Sta. Rosa.
I thought “Shit. I don’t have load. If I get into trouble with terrorists, I can’t call for some wicked heroic backup.” and that was that. I went for option #2 and never looked back. Sure I was pissed, but Fucker and I have experienced worse. I’m not going to risk life and limb for a broken window, especially if the mysterious projectile that hit us was so frickin’ sinister. I mean, come on. The window looks like bulletproof glass that was hit by a huge-ass bullet! It could’ve been the Makati Mafia trying to whack me for ruining their… umm… FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!!! I’m just hoping that whoever did it will suffer eternal butt violation at the hands of large sweaty men.
Moral of the story? If you wake up in the morning with voices in your head desperately telling you not to get out of bed, LISTEN.
What if the voices say "Fuck up Fucker next time you’re in SLEX?" HUH?
How much would a new window cost?
DAMN! But who’d wanna fuck with Fucker?? :(
Oh. Holy. Fuck.
@Pau: You should only listen if they tell you not to get out of bed. PAY ATTENTION, PAU!
@aLOLapenny: I wouldn’t know ‘cos I’m not getting one. I like living on the edge. ROCK N’ ROLL, BITCHES! LOL jk. No really, I have yet to consult the Toyota people.
@JewLOL: Well, I do. Actually, I’ve already done it several times wi– oh. “Who’d wanna fuck WITH Fucker”. I thought it was “IN”, which would’ve been totally awkward and… yeah.
@Moki: Well, I’m still a little pissed right now so I feel like singing a few old school Metallica and Pantera songs. BLRGGHBLARGHBLAAGHHH!!! DEATHDEATHDEAAAAGGHHHHTTTT!!!
wow that sucks. your mysterious projectile beats my dead battery and a very flat tire in one week.
ampness.. naalala ko tuloy yung nakapark ka sa elbi dun kina john.. (forgot the name nung street na yun..) di ba may bumasag din sa likod na window ni Fucker?! grabe, tochi-in yang mga bwakanang mga hayuf na yan..
aaaww… =( poor Fucker. *me gives Fucker a big hug*
mamase mamasa mamakusa! yeh sing ka na lang like rihanna!
@Iris: In one week? Well, that's pretty close the suckery I went through. Heh.
@Van: Mas grabe yun. Ano naman yang tochi-in na yan, gay speak ng mga Japayuki? HUHLOLZ
@Freul: Ako walang hug? =(
Dude. That sucks.
Liek, totally. But iz okeh nao. Fucker has a new window and it’s newly tinted. I can’t stop touching it. Halp?