HR – Love & Relationships Dept.
Re: Memo
Greetings of YOU GUYS SUCK!
Indeed, I have been without a girlfriend for the last 3 years and I am admittedly resembling a horny virgin loser. But there’s no reason for alarm. Seriously.
I’m not pursuing any possible new relationship that presents itself for I do not see any good reason to do so. Well, other than “get fucken’ laid”. There is no lack of options. I have a lot of them. But as I said, I don’t see the immediate need for pursuing a new relationship. I mean, I don’t really care if I don’t have someone to wear the egg costume that came with my bacon one.
As for my lack of intimate activities, I would like to contest viewing Internet porn as an invalid procedure within the Sex & Intimacy Department guidelines. As far as my fingers (or as I would like to call them, “my Party of Five”) are concerned, Internet porn is definitely a valid form of intimate activity.
Having said that, I consider your mandate void and without cause. I will not look for a hot mate who will share an intimate and serious relationship with me just because you think I’m becoming a sad, sad person. I don’t need a girlfriend.
Sincerely,
Gino Carteciano
…
I’m just fucking with you. Baddie is now GIRLFRIENDED! Who knew all that emo crap a couple of weeks ago was just the sad quiet before the happy storm? It’s true what they say, “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” I’m so happy, I feel like celebrating. In fact, I feel like partying! Hit it, Boombox Abe!
You have a girlfriend? I hate you. What about those fun times we had together?
As much as I love staying in your fat arms, Ade, I've fallen for someone else. SRY
I think it's just a ploy to make me jealous.
You're on the first stage of grief, Pau. Europe will take away the pain.
You slimy two-timing dirtbag jerk! Don't call me anymore!
YOU LIAR! You said you loved me! Beast! Troglodyte!
Steel and Lauren, you can be my mistresses. Ade and Pau too. I've always wanted to have a harem of bloggers.
So what's this SMS you sent me that goes, "Tulog na u? Gising pa me. SOP? Taraletz!" You're just using my voice for your… your pleasurz! I quit!
Amazing… No not your I-have-a-gf announcement, I meant the raving crowd after that. Amazing…
[stupefied]
Concubine Fritz, shut up and make me a sammich!
Joiz, they're just jelas. They'll get over it.
So… are the hordes still going crazy now that you have a girlfriend???
heyyyyy…………
i hate you baddie!
how come you have a gf already?!?!
painom ka nga! wahhhh!!!!!!!!!
sino????????
@Ria: Apparently, yes. See?
[quote comment="1905"]heyyyyy…………
i hate you baddie!
how come you have a gf already?!?![/quote]
[...] I’m exaggerating. After the awesome (well, at least for me) announcement I made last week, I decided to update my relationship status in my social networking accounts. [...]