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HR - Love & Relationships Dept.
Re: Memo
Greetings of YOU GUYS SUCK!
Indeed, I have been without a girlfriend for the last 3 years and I am admittedly resembling a horny virgin loser. But there’s no reason for alarm. Seriously.
I’m not pursuing any possible new relationship that presents itself for I do not see any good reason to do so. Well, other than “get fucken’ laid”. There is no lack of options. I have a lot of them. But as I said, I don’t see the immediate need for pursuing a new relationship. I mean, I don’t really care if I don’t have someone to wear the egg costume that came with my bacon one.
As for my lack of intimate activities, I would like to contest viewing Internet porn as an invalid procedure within the Sex & Intimacy Department guidelines. As far as my fingers (or as I would like to call them, “my Party of Five”) are concerned, Internet porn is definitely a valid form of intimate activity.
Having said that, I consider your mandate void and without cause. I will not look for a hot mate who will share an intimate and serious relationship with me just because you think I’m becoming a sad, sad person. I don’t need a girlfriend.
Sincerely,
Gino Carteciano
…
I’m just fucking with you. Baddie is now GIRLFRIENDED! Who knew all that emo crap a couple of weeks ago was just the sad quiet before the happy storm? It’s true what they say, “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” I’m so happy, I feel like celebrating. In fact, I feel like partying! Hit it, Boombox Abe!
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sino????????
@Ria: Apparently, yes. See?