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One quiet morning in the land of Makati
A truly wonderful day for all
The boy Trillanes was under trial for a coup attempt
Everyone remembers the stand-off at the mall
Trillanes decided it was no fun
Several of his friends agreed, they be so sweet
Together they left the Hall of Justice
To march freely along the Makati streets
Today just plain sucks. Normally, I wouldn’t rant about a sucky day on this blog. I wouldn’t even let it bother me for more than a couple of hours. Whenever I get that feeling of extra suckiness, a couple of LOLcat images is usually all it takes to tame Baddie’s Inner Beast of Anger. But today’s different. Today is just full of sucktitude. Nothing is going my way.
You said it, Stupid Dog on Roller Blades Holding an Ice Cream Cone with 3 Scoops of Ice Cream! I feel like everything is against me. Am I really having the worst day of my week, or am I just being overly dramatic? Consider:
This Kung Fu guy starts fighting this Kareem Abdul-Jabbar wannabe, right? It just looks like your regular old Kung Fu movie complete with The Six Million Dollar Man sound effects. Until this dude starts doing all these crazy moves while he’s still in the air. And then he dances.
Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t think this is awesome. If you don’t find this anywhere near AWESOMETASTIC, there’s no future for us being friends.
I don’t usually make a Christmas wish list, or any other kind of wish list for that matter, but for the sake of giving you guys an idea of what I want for Christmas this year (I better be in your Christmas list, you cheapskates!), I’m letting you know two things that I would really love to have by the end of 2007. Hey, stop whining. It’s either a wish list blog entry or The ANNOTATED Secret History of the Grand Order of FAIL.
The first thing I want for Christmas is an iPod.
No, I’m not a consumer sheep. I hated the buzz it got when it was first released, and I frown every time I hear about a new iPod iteration. Also, I get the urge to punch the nearest balls I could find whenever I see someone wearing white earphones. But, yeah. I think it’s time for me to succumb. Plus, I really want to carry around as many Porkchop Duo recordings as possible.
I would rather fail spectacularly than succeed minimally. - Alexander Luthor
Ten lost souls wandered aimlessly across the desolate soil of the blue and green ball floating in space called Earth. Each searching for the most awesome of life’s goals: EPIC WIN. They want to win in life. They want to conquer it. They want to rule their own lives with iron hands and golden dicks. But alas, these poor fellows only ended up with EPIC FAIL:
Accomplished Perfect Pedophile - He wanted to own all the young boys in his village to be his playmates, but all he got were the girls. He didn’t really have a problem with girls, but still. FAIL.
August General in Walrus Hide - He wanted to save the souls of those around him, deliver them from evil and shit, but he corrupted them instead. FAIL.
Celestial Wanker - He wanted to invent a machine that can solve all the problems inflicting his native land, but he just ended up inventing a square wheel. FAIL.
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