And now for something totally useless: a blog series featuring alternate reality versions of Baddie (Just play along, please.) generated by Meez. Introducing first, from his luxurious multi-million dollar suite, Big Daddy Baddie!

Big Daddy Baddie spends most of his time bullying his lackeys, flirting with hot Brazilian models by the pool, and blurting out random inappropriate words to ugly people.

He has sex for breakfast every day except Sunday, which is “alone time” day. That doesn’t mean he can’t watch hot lesbians have group sex in his dining room.

He loves hanging out by his diamonds-adorned pool, where every chick not in a bikini is punched in the boobs and then thrown into a nearby river by his henchmen.

Big Daddy Baddie’s favorite past time is listening to booming hip-hop music while walking on a carpet of beautiful naked women. After stepping on them ladies, he has sex with all of them. That’s how he rolls, bitches!