Requests for Fucker’s Friendship

When a man has too much time in his hands, he’s open to the idea of doing some of the most stupid things ever conceivable like, say, creating a Friendster account for his RAV 4. Yep. In April 2004, I had too much time in my hands and I created a Friendster account for Fucker, my black RAV 4. For 3 years, I added a select few of my friends to Fucker’s friends list. Some of them even took the initiative to add Fucker, and it’s all okay. They’re real friends, after all. But since a couple of weeks ago, Fucker started to get “friend requests” from, how should I describe them, unmistakable shoe-ins for Mike Villar‘s Atrocities of Friendster? Yeah, that sounds about right. But I may be too harsh on these poor souls so I’ll ask you guys for guidance.

Exhibit A: Glendylle

fucker_glendylle.jpg

Her profile says she’s 18, but I call shenanigans! She’s the one giving you the finger. I think. But just in case, mind your fucking manners, little missy!

Exhibit B: MJ

fucker_mj.jpg

I’ve got news for you, boy: No matter how strong your fairy powers are, Fucker won’t tap you! SRY.

Exhibit C: nAsty

fucker_nasty.jpg

Riiiight. “nAsty” indeed.

Exhibit D: Mitch

fucker_mitch0.jpg

Now we’re talking! Fucker and Baddie would definitely tap that! But just to make sure that that’s your real picture, let me just check your photo galle…

fucker_mitch.jpg

Holy…! You know what? I think I left Fucker’s lights on. GTG BAI!

Seriously, there are more of them and they all belong to the same species. What’s the deal here? Is it Fucker’s name? Is it the jologs-y profile items? Do people who can’t get any really go as low as requesting a Friendster friendship from an automobile with a provocative name? What gives?!

I just hope to all that’s holy that these people don’t discover that other social networking site with a name that starts with an “F” and ends with an “acebook”. Stay in Friendster with your glittery background graphics, homies. Please.

Trivia: Most of Fucker’s recent friend requesters have “Beautiful Girls” (the suicidal, suicidal song) on their profile.


14 Responses to “Requests for Fucker’s Friendship”

  1. Hhelgha says:

    Beautiful Girls?

  2. Ade says:

    What the fuck?!

  3. Pau says:

    I want to be Fucker's friend. :(

  4. Kofi says:

    I get a lot of those too. Especially from the friendster group I made for my friends. tsk, tsk. Block 'em!

  5. Fritz says:

    Plis ad me 2! I liek your hood, it so shineh! My email. Peace! Punk 4 ever! Anarchy roolz! kalesa_magwheels@mail-g.com

  6. Baddie says:

    Another trivia: 2 people who sent Fucker friend requests have nude primary pics. Not that I'm complaining.

  7. issai says:

    can't believe you created a friendster profile for a rav4!!!! i was about to get one… until i fell in love with the 2008 CRV. hehe…

  8. liz says:

    is the gun even real?

  9. Baddie says:

    You'll never know with these people. They're unpredictable over there in the ghetto.

  10. [...] Contact « Requests for Fucker’s Friendship [...]

  11. cyberpunk says:

    jesus h. christ!

    Exhibit C scares me!

  12. [...] What do you mean “repulsive”?! You’re talking to a guy who named his car “Fucker“, buddy! So zip it. Anyhoo, Molesto’s a pretty neat gadget. The main draw for this baby [...]

  13. [...] I realized I have a lot of social networking accounts. Half of them bring me in contact with psychos and weirdos. Newly Girlfriended And Now Elitist Baddie will have none of that! As a result, I deleted a few [...]

  14. [...] of just blogging. I got tired of living online altogether, especially when morons started to harass Fucker on Friendster. I let everybody know what I was going through, which was also my way of telling myself that things [...]

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