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I purposely missed this movie when it opened in theaters. “Why?”, you ask. Well, there are several reasons. One, it’s directed by Mark Steven Johnson, the dude who gave us “Daredevil”. Yes, the Ben Affleck flick with an annoying Bullseye and a black Kingpin. Should I go on? Because I think that’s enough for you to understand where I’m going here. OK I’ll give you another: it’s too glossy. When I heard about the plans for a Ghost Rider movie, I hoped that it would be dark and gritty and R-18. The minute I found out that Johnson would be writing and directing it, I decided to pass on the theater release and just wait for the DVD, because I’m not watching this movie without watching some extras. And here we are.

The Story: I didn’t expect much in terms of the plot, but some of the lines dangerously come close to “Batman & Robin” sucktitude. I mean, come on! With great and “just OK” actors, they could have at least come up with more interesting dialogue and not just eye-roll-inducing puns. The only thing that attracted me was the mythology of the Ghost Rider and the concept of him being the Devil’s bounty hunter. The story within the story. After all, I am a comic book geek so I enjoy that kind of stuff. Other than that, it’s a formulaic Hollywood tale of redemption with bad puns and cookie cutter supporting characters.

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Greetings, peons! It is I, Dr. Victor Von Doom, welcoming you again to this magnificent series where Doom lectures you simpletons on different comic book characters as only Doom can. Let it be known that all you shall read in this “blog post” is the truth, because although Doom is capable of anything, Doom does not lie!

For this second installment of “Know Your Comic Book Characters with Dr. Doom”, Doom shall introduce you to one of Galactus‘ heralds, the “Sentinel of the Spaceways”, the noble and shiny Silver Surfer!

As a young astronomer in the peaceful planet Zenn-La, Norrin Radd dreamed of adventure and exploration. The young fool got his wish when Galactus, the “Devourer of Worlds”, threatened to turn Zenn-La into a cosmic sandwich. Radd bargained for the safety of his planet and his lover, Shalla-Bal, in return for his service as Galactus’ herald. Thus was born the Silver Surfer! Doom would have found a better way to stop Galactus’ threat if Doom were Radd. Bargaining is for lesser men, never for Doom!

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My stupid “just woke up” face with stupid braces still on. A couple of hours later, no more stupid braces. Face is still stupid, though.

After 3 years and 5 months of wearing orthodontic braces, I finally had them removed. The relief I’m feeling right now is heavenly. It’s like I’ve just shit a ton after holding it for 3 hours or something. But even though I’m happy that I no longer have to put up with metal thingamajigs, I somehow miss wearing them braces.

Three and a half years ago, while I was visiting my dentist, I asked her about braces. How much will it cost? Do I need it? How much pain will I be in if I decide to go through with it? She told me the cost, she said I needed it, and she never mentioned anything about the pain. After a couple of minutes, I told her my decision. After 1 week, I was back in her clinic, enduring the tremendous pain inherent in having braces installed. I did it because I’ve always been bothered by the gaps between my teeth, not to mention my subtle overbite. But I did it mainly because I thought it would be cute. Yeah, dumb idea.

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I rarely listen to other people’s opinions about movies. Well, I do listen, but I don’t let my judgment be affected by their critiques or praises. If they say the movie’s crap but I have the itch to watch it, I’ll watch it. If they say the movie’s the most awesome thing ever since Jesus turned water into wine, I’d pass on it if I doesn’t interest me. But like I said, there are those rare moments that I do take their advice, like when CJ and Sarah of Magic 89.9 did a DVD review of Beerfest. I always see the DVD in record bars and video stores, but I always pass and go for other movies, or none at all. Once I heard the review on-air, I decided to pick it up (after all, it is at bargain price), and I’m glad that I did.

The Story: Nothing fancy. Two brothers get their asses whipped by Germans in a secret ancient beer games tournament, they return home to train their own beer drinking team, hoping to return the following year and have their revenge and protect their family’s honor, and eventually they did. The interesting and fun parts are the backstories of the main characters and all the asshattery. As long as there’s a nerd who masturbates frogs for a living, a male Indian prostitute dude, and a funny fat guy, I don’t care even if the story’s about an enchanted cardboard. Or something. Bottomline is, the movie is a collection of hilarious gags and witty banter. Also, nice sweaty boobies.

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Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

So I’ve been seeing these VisualDNA widgets all over the web (Well, OK. All over Friendster.) and I decided to take a whack at it. I said to myself “Hey, self. You’re looking for something to write about, right? Well, nothing beats blogger’s block like a good ol’ online self-evaluation thingie!” Self is so smart. I love him. So I clicked a bunch of pictures, hopelessly tried to make sense out of my choices, and… well, here we are.

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