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OK I’m starting another stupid “series” again, and this time, it’s all about DVDs. In my Weekly Haul series, I talk about my most recent comic book purchases. For this new series, I’m going to talk about my recent DVD purchases, and I’d like to call it *drumroll* DVD Library! I am so creative.

I shall start with a movie that took more than 10 months before I saw it. A movie that took more than a decade to finally push through. A movie that’s supposed to be the biggest and greatest comic book movie of our time, but sadly became another would-be usurper to Spider-Man’s throne. I’m talking about Superman Returns.

The Story: I’m just satisfied and not blown away. I’m also mildly irritated since they say the first Superman movie is a pseudo-prologue of this movie. That’s a confusing statement. I just wish they didn’t say that and instead, started from scratch like Batman Begins. They could’ve still paid homage to Richard Donner’s movie by putting in sly nods to it, instead of dwelling on it too much. And the kid! The goddamn kid. Don’t get me wrong, the kid’s a nice addition to the mythos, and a great source of drama for the characters, but it just feels so wrong. And I’d like to hear Bryan Singer explain how the hell did it exactly happen. You do not tug on Superman’s cape, and you do not give him a bastard son!

The Eye Candy: Best part of the movie for me is when Superman’s flying. I mean, really. That’s the best looking flying person I’ve seen in movies. And my favorite part of the movie is when he stopped the free-falling plane from creating a kick-ass crater in the middle of a baseball field. That’s an awesome scene. Unfortunately, that’s the highlight of the movie for me right there. Everything goes downhill after that, in terms of story and graphics. The movie could’ve used a few more intense special effects scenes.

The Actors: The story might have been dangling on the edge of suckery, and the graphics lack in quantity, but I only have praises for the cast. I had doubts about the choice of Superman/Clark Kent, but after watching the movie, I think Brandon Routh is a good successor to the cape. I also had doubts about Kate Bosworth, but I like her now as Lois Lane. Plus, she’s hot. Kevin Spacey is a nice Lex Luthor, and I hope he keeps the role in the sequels. I love Parker Posey and I love her more after this performance. I’d totally dig it if all of them return for another (hopefully less-emo) Superman film.

The DVD Extras: Basically, it’s just 3 hours of Bryan Singer giggling like a school girl because he’s working on this film. You screwed two (the other one’s X3) comic book movie franchises, asshole! The extras could have used a little more background on the Superman mythos, but no. It has to be all about Singer and his crew doing a “great job” on this “comical” movie. What a bunch of douchebags.

So yeah, there you go. As a comic book geek, I’m shocked about the kid, but I’m terribly happy because Big Blue is finally back on the big screen. I hope the next Superman movie would be brighter and less-emo because honestly, Superman should be bright and bold and sunny. Stop it with all the gloomy shit, Singer! Ass.

• DVD Library #8: Look, Up in the Sky! - The Amazing Story of Superman
• I’m Going to Dump 5 DVD Reviews on Your Asses Next Week
• DVD Library #9: Spider-Man 3 2-Disc Special Edition
• Baddie Bookmarks #2 of 5: Pleasures
• DVD Library #11: Ratatouille
• Baddie 2007
• DVD Library #4: The Incredibles
• Kindred
• Super Suggestive
• Top 5 Lists #4 of 10: TV Shows