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Mr. Gino Carteciano,
Greetings of peace and lurv!
We would like to inform you that we are bothered by the lack of activity on your part regarding love and relationships. We have determined that you’re still without a significant other for almost 3 years now. We are concerned since you were constantly in a relationship for several years before you graduated from college, but now you resemble a horny virgin loser. We would just like to know the reason for this drought in your love life.
It would appear that after your last break-up, you did not show any semblance of concern over the status of your love life. You casually flirted with several suitable female persons, but it is documented that you did not initiate any form of proposal for a relationship with any of them. Is it the lack of options? We hear one of the chicks at the smoking area is hot. You might want to check her out.
We also keep getting letters of inquiry from the Sex & Intimacy Department regarding your “lack of performance” in certain tasks and activities. They would like us to reiterate the fact that viewing internet porn is not a valid procedure within their guidelines. We’ll forward their letters to you ASAP.
Due to these concerns, we are hereby giving you a 12-month period in which you need to find a suitable hot mate who will share an intimate and serious relationship with you. You are required to celebrate “monthsaries” with said suitable hot mate. Giving her chocolates and/or flowers is optional, but highly recommended. If you will not comply, your status of “Manliest of Manly Men” will be revoked, and you shall be placed under a “Big Fat Homo” designation. This mandate is effective immediately.
We wish you good luck. Don’t screw this up.
Sincerely,
HR - Love & Relationships Dept.
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whut?! monthsaries are for sissies, soldier! in any case, well, good luck!
“Greetings of peace and lurv!”
You sure this line doesn’t place you under the Homo category?
@miss diss: Yeah, but I hear most women are sissies. I don’t want to offend them by not giving in to their sissy “monthsary” celebrations. Although I’m open to the idea of offending them by calling them sissies.
@Steel: Hey, I didn’t write the letter. It was addressed to me. Moran.
‘maraming fish sa sea’. and so why do nice eligible men remain single for three years? there must be something infinitely wrong with the Love and Relationships Dept. let’s hang some heads. XP
Oh my… this is a matter of serious concern.
Pero kaya mo naman yata even before the 12 months elapse. ;)
That’s so sad, it’s hilarious. LOL.
Actually, I think I’m in the same sad boat. Wait, now I’M SAD. Heh.
Well, you can always go for the beautiful Ms. Mary Palmer.
Good luck, mehn!
“Manliest of Manly Men”
can i just say, “whoa!” lol.
work on it, man. strike while the iron is hot. oh, whatever that means. hehe.
@liz: Nevermind hanging. Heads will roll!
@ade: Ah, yes. The good ol’ “Party of Five”. It gets old after a couple of years.
@faye: I’m always oblivious whenever the iron is hot. And that’s just sad, really.
hahaha! mabuhay ang mga singles! ngak! :P
hahahahahaha! :loser: or L-)
magpa-sexy ka muna, marami pang pawis at konting rice ang kailangan!
kung single lang ako….
e di, may kasabay kang maghahanap!
wehehehehhe! inom nalang yan!